Another month away...OT...relationships
This might sound harsh so please know that my tone/voice inflection can not be translated online via text.
I'm a military wife, and before I was married, I was a single mother. The one thing that you can not do is wrap your entire world around a man. Sorry, but your life is not about him. It's about you and your child. My son was nearly 10 years old before I married my husband. I had a full and active social life before I married him. I chose to leave everything behind to be with my husband, and have the Air Force dictate where we'd live, how much time we spend together, and everything we do as a family revolves around my husband's career. Before I left Texas with my son to build a life with him, we spent about 16-17 months having a long distance relationship while he was stationed in Massachusetts. I heard the same things from people. How can I trust him, He's gotta be cheating, there's no man that would not screw around on you, He's a man, he has needs. But, not once did I doubt his commitment to me, or our relationship. He leaves me on a monthly basis. Anywhere from 1 week to 2-3 weeks at a time, he gets to go to conferences, seminars, classes, meet tons of people, hang out at hotel/conference socials, a plethora of women come his way, he gets to visit sunny California, New Mexico, Pennsylvania etc etc. 1000s of miles from hom, and I never assume he'll cheat on me.
Before he landed his current position, he deployed to ****holes of Afghanistan, no cell phones, little to zero communciation, emails are few and far between, during his last deployment we went over 30 days with zero contact, not one phone call or email. BUT, my life did NOT stop. I had to fill my daily life with various activities all while entertaining a pre-teen. He worked 12-16hour days while stateside, usually 6 days a week, throw in mandatory training on his off days, toss in getting called in for mandatory meetings, etc etc. There just comes a time when you have to trust the person you love. Grant it, I knew my husband's morals and ethics, his convictions on infidelity long before I agreed to live this life with him. I knew the struggles going in, but I also knew that before I became his wife I was Tiffany, the woman, and Mom to my son. Myself and my son are the priority that I have to continue to take care of in his abscence. If I sat around worrying about the "what ifs", or wondering if he is out carousing town then I sure as hell don't need to be married to him.
My main point is that you have to take care of you, and do what makes you happy. You need to fill all this time with things/activities that are fulfilling to you and your life. Volunteering has been my outlet, and being involved with various community organizations. If you make a go of this relationship, you have to ask yourself if you are willing to accept the time apart. I don't like that my husband is gone, I hate sleeping alone, I hate it when the smoke alarm battery dies and I can't reach the damn thing to change it out, I hate that I have to remember everything, but I wouldn't trade this life for any other one if someone paid me. My marriage is NOT my entire world. My husband is NOT my best friend. And, before I was a wife, I was a woman, and I have to take care of that "woman" so I can be the very best wife and mother. If my entire world/day in and day out activities revolved around if my husband was going to call me, or when I'd get to see him, I would be miserable.
I'm a military wife, and before I was married, I was a single mother. The one thing that you can not do is wrap your entire world around a man. Sorry, but your life is not about him. It's about you and your child. My son was nearly 10 years old before I married my husband. I had a full and active social life before I married him. I chose to leave everything behind to be with my husband, and have the Air Force dictate where we'd live, how much time we spend together, and everything we do as a family revolves around my husband's career. Before I left Texas with my son to build a life with him, we spent about 16-17 months having a long distance relationship while he was stationed in Massachusetts. I heard the same things from people. How can I trust him, He's gotta be cheating, there's no man that would not screw around on you, He's a man, he has needs. But, not once did I doubt his commitment to me, or our relationship. He leaves me on a monthly basis. Anywhere from 1 week to 2-3 weeks at a time, he gets to go to conferences, seminars, classes, meet tons of people, hang out at hotel/conference socials, a plethora of women come his way, he gets to visit sunny California, New Mexico, Pennsylvania etc etc. 1000s of miles from hom, and I never assume he'll cheat on me.
Before he landed his current position, he deployed to ****holes of Afghanistan, no cell phones, little to zero communciation, emails are few and far between, during his last deployment we went over 30 days with zero contact, not one phone call or email. BUT, my life did NOT stop. I had to fill my daily life with various activities all while entertaining a pre-teen. He worked 12-16hour days while stateside, usually 6 days a week, throw in mandatory training on his off days, toss in getting called in for mandatory meetings, etc etc. There just comes a time when you have to trust the person you love. Grant it, I knew my husband's morals and ethics, his convictions on infidelity long before I agreed to live this life with him. I knew the struggles going in, but I also knew that before I became his wife I was Tiffany, the woman, and Mom to my son. Myself and my son are the priority that I have to continue to take care of in his abscence. If I sat around worrying about the "what ifs", or wondering if he is out carousing town then I sure as hell don't need to be married to him.
My main point is that you have to take care of you, and do what makes you happy. You need to fill all this time with things/activities that are fulfilling to you and your life. Volunteering has been my outlet, and being involved with various community organizations. If you make a go of this relationship, you have to ask yourself if you are willing to accept the time apart. I don't like that my husband is gone, I hate sleeping alone, I hate it when the smoke alarm battery dies and I can't reach the damn thing to change it out, I hate that I have to remember everything, but I wouldn't trade this life for any other one if someone paid me. My marriage is NOT my entire world. My husband is NOT my best friend. And, before I was a wife, I was a woman, and I have to take care of that "woman" so I can be the very best wife and mother. If my entire world/day in and day out activities revolved around if my husband was going to call me, or when I'd get to see him, I would be miserable.
Band to VSG revision: June 3, 2009
SW 270lbs GW 150lbs CW Losing Pregancy Weight Maintenance goal W 125-130lbs
SW 270lbs GW 150lbs CW Losing Pregancy Weight Maintenance goal W 125-130lbs
I can't say much without knowing more, but I can tell you that people that work on oil rigs have rather unreliable schedules. I grew up in Louisiana, where everyone worked on an oil rig, and even the guys that were married and had families would spend weeks out there without ever coming home. I imagine the single guys take as many shifts as they can, and thus don't get the breaks the married guys want.
Most Active
Recent Topics
