I feel fat

I have lost 53 lbs. so far (I need to update my ticker). I fit into clothes that I haven't been able to wear in quite some time. But I still feel so fat and gross. I see how flabby I am and I feel icky. If I feel this way now, I wonder now just how horrible I looked on those days when I felt like I was having a good hair, or a good make-up, or a good dress day before the surgery.

I want my head to catch up with my body or maybe it's that I want my body to catch up with my head, I don't know.

I hear you. I've just started in the last few weeks to get my head around my new body - it's saggy but firm at the same time (loose skin, lots of muscle) but all I could see was the saggy.

It's hard. Many of us struggle with this.

For some reason, side by side pictures helped me.

Looking at pre-op pics can be very alarming.  Even now I look down at myself and I see "fat" but if I see a new pic of myself I see normal.  Brains are very weird.  I know that I am not fat at 5' 5" and 134 lbs but somehow I still see it.  I know my head will catch up soon.  I think everyone goes through this at some point in this journey.

 I am 18 months out. People and even my knee doctor the other day told me I was so thin. My cloths are smaller yes I feel great but at the same time I do not see my self as thin. When I here that I say I am not thin. I wish my mind would catch up with my body.