Cold Feet...

 Being scared and having second thoughts is normal! Do this for your health. I felt the same way that I would fail since I failed so many times before but look at me now. I am so happy that I went through and never regret a thing. You can do it!

Oh I was super scared too.  Not having the best time the last few days, but it is a done deal now so I'm trying to think postitive.

At my psych eval the doc told me that I should measure out the food that I would be eating after surgery and try living like that for a few days to see if I could hack it.  I didn't do it and I wish that I would have.  I thought I had a grip on what post op eating would be like say:

just a taco instead of two with rice and beans and chips and salsa, or

just some chicken instead of chicken, fries, and a roll, or

just a half a sandwich instead of a whole one with chips, or

just one slice of pizza instead of two slices and a breadstick

In reality (so far) it is more like:

a half of a meatball and some olives
a half of a taco
1/3 of the meat and cheese from a sandwich
maybe two little chunks of chicken.  

It is not that I'm hungry after eating such a small amount because I'm not, but at least for now I feel deprived and like a freak when I'm out eating with normal people.  My 7 year old daughter ate almost 7 times what I did last night, and no, she isn't a *****ubby. 2 ounces of protein just isn't that much and the last three days it has been more like one ounce to 1 1/2 ounces. Instead of eating about 1/4th what I did before it feels more like 1/8th. 

I'm also not a sweets person and the sweet whey protein shakes are a real beat down.

Sorry I'm not Suzy Sunshine today, but I'm just feeling like I really want a day off from this...not to binge, just to eat without stress over eating one bite too many and getting my protein.

So I say be sure, don't rush, and I wish you success in whatever road you choose.

 
I am so glad I went through with surgery.  I had many of the same doubts and fears.  Now I am 5 months out and I feel so completely normal physically.  I don't want my old tummy back!!  No way!  I was not 100% sure going into surgery.  I decided I would be okay with 90% sure.  I was very excited to just *do it* on the morning of surgery.

Let me say this.  To be successuful, you will still have to truly give yourself 100% to a new way of eating.  Not a diet, not a a life of deprivation, but definitely a new way of eating.  But all of us here on the other side can tell you that after surgery, it is not impossible the way it felt before surgery.  Most of us feel so grateful to be at least partial liberated from the tyranny of food.

(((Hugs))))