I am really going to miss food
The thing to remind yourself is that you will be able to eat almost anything one day. A lot of people point out intolerances for things that they used to eat, but for many those are temporary. I'm almost 9 months and I can eat anything (except processed meats like bologna). I just don't choose to because I want to lose more weight. The power to choose scares some people, but it empowers me. I love not being able to binge and choosing healthier options. I don't feel deprived because I can have 1-2 bites of a craving and that's usually enough.
The bottom line: grieving the loss is normal, but you will survive it and eat again someday!
I stayed strong for the first 3 days without cheating. I was starving at first, then the hunger would pass for a while, then it would come back again. I was already so sick of these yucky protein shakes by day 3.
I wrote my nutritionist and told her that I was at my breaking point and I was about ready to raid the fridge any second now LOL.
She wrote back rather quickly (email) that I could substitute 2 shakes a day for 2 very small meals including high protein low fat things. This helped sooooo much! I know the idea is to stay on the liquid diet but I really didn't think (and apparently so did my nutritionist) that having a small piece of fish or chicken was going to keep my liver from shrinking. In a week and half i lost 12 lbs doing this and although I still had a fatty liver during the surgery, I'm not sure it wouldn't have still be fatty anyway no matter what. How much can the liver really shrink in just a week and half anyway when your 390 lbs? I'm thinking its going to be fat no matter what after 43 years of eating a bunch of crap. The Dr. took a biopsy of my fatty liver when he was doing the operation but I have not heard anything negative come back about it and I'm over 3 weeks post op. I should have heard something by now if it was bad news.
You on the other hand are doing it for a month so your liver can probably shrink quite a bit in that time.
I would try your best to stay on the plan if you can but its not the end of the world if just cant do it. Call your nutritionist and see what they say?
HW: 350 SW: 332 CW: 198 GW: 167
Pre-Op Loss: -7lbs M1: -23lbs (299) M2: -20 (279) M3: -8 (271) M4: -8 (263) M5: -13 (250) M6: -10 (240) M7: -7 (233) M8: -8 (225) M9: 10 (215) M11: (215) M12: 7 (208) M13:1 (207)M 14(205) M15 (203) M16 (201)
1st short term goal: 290 (done 4/16 @ 288). 2nd short term goal: 275 (done 5/20) 3rd short term goal: 250 (Aug 1) 4th short term goal: 220 (11/30) 5th short term goal 199 (wonderland) (November 2013) NEXT GOAL: 190lbs
on 2/29/12 10:08 am
My battle is eating out....we eat out often and I have told only a few ppl about my surgery....we eat lots of Mexican food so I have had lots of refried beans and cheese the past couple of weeks. I am 5 weeks post op and the time has flown by. It is so great now to have to be sure I get in enough nutrients and not worry about getting in too many and still being hungry.
I still do not have the hang of knowing if I am hungry or not. Sounds strange, but I can tell when my stomach is empty.....isn't that hungry? I also get the sensation that my stomach is about to growl but then I burp and that feeling goes away. Craziness! I continue to take my Prilosec or Protonix every day to help manage this.
Hang in there and keep us posted on your progress.
PS - if you have problems with the protein shakes, don't get discouraged, there are so many out there to choose from and we are always looking for good deals on samples. The most recent was Syntrax Nectar - 13 different protein drink mixes for $13.
I think we can do anything we want to one day at a time. Each protein shake, each day that you stay on the program is a success that you can mark off on your mental calendar.
It's good that you're in touch with feeling sad and depressed. I know when I was eating and eating and eating, I was too full of food to feel the negative emotions. That might be why you're feeling them now.
If you can turn it around and look at the liquid diet as positive progress on the journey you've started instead of thinking that you're deprived of food, maybe that will help too.
You can do it! I thought I'd go out of my mind, but I made it through and am now advanced to pureed/soft foods.
Good luck!
I hope this makes sense and maybe helps a little with your thought process at the moment:
After the surgery, I was finally "there", living with the consequences of my decision. My liquid phase included yoghurt (without fruit) and other things that seemed less "liquidy". It was wierd not to chew on anything, but not depressing.
I did not dwell on food, I dwelled on the changes I had undergone and how I would adapt to the new restrictions. I didn't force myself to think this way, it just happened.
Actually, the post-op liquid phase was sort of mindless--a thing to do while my stomach started healing, and I didn't have to put much thought into it. But at the same time, I was sort of excited that I had taken this huge plunge, and started looking forward to positive changes. Those feelings were greater than any sorrows about what I used to eat. It wasn't so much that I missed food as much as marveling at how little I ate and how "not hungry" I was.
My doc advanced me a bit faster than yours, and I put more care into what I chose to eat. I knew I couldn't eat much and had to eat correctly. Since it was much more thought-out, I didn't have time to grieve about what I used to like. (REALLY starting to realize the volume of food I ate and the bad preparation habits I'd fallen into -- lots of take-out pizza and fried stuff and not enough healthy stuff.)
Have definitely NOT been hungry, so I don't think about food as much and don't really think about what I'm missing. I don't crave any of the foods I used to love, even when I prepare them for my husband.
I hope you will be "underwhelmed" by the concept of eating following your surgery. Its an interesting journey, intead of a depressing one. You are starting a new life and are in total control of it. My nutritionist said to think of it as though you are teaching a baby to eat for the first time. Everything is new, and its different from the way I ate prior to the surgery.
Hope I'm not just floundering around here, trying to explain the mental status after the surgery.
Being on liquids post-op is much easier. I wasn't hungry at all, or it I was, I just drank more. Your tummy will be healing, and it's much different than a pre-op diet.
Now, here's what true for me, 'cause I only live in my life.
When I am sad and depressed about food, I usually find I am just feeling sad and depressed, period. It's part of the addiction for me. For example, I feel sad. The monkey says, oh! you feel sad. I'm sure it's because you're not eating X. If you have X you won't be sad anymore. Really! Trust me! Eating will make it better.
If I listen to the voice, I eat X and guess what? I'm *not* sad anymore. Amazing! Instead, I'm riddled with guilt and remorse. So I get to sit with that for a while - instead of feeling sad. Wow. Great trade.
All of this is way more complicated than just feeling sad, doing something *genuinely* nice for myself, and just sitting with it for a while. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I *already* feel sad, I'm just trying to use food to avoid it.
You can handle feeling sad. It is not forever, it will pass. You are bigger than your feelings. Food won't fix it. This is what I tell myself.