Man, that was STUPID...Confession Time

Edited to add: some=2-4 sips per meal

Last night, I had my first experience with vomiting, well, almost.

Here I was, getting upset with my son at the table for eating too fast and I wasn't paying attention.  I didn't chew well enough and had some water and BAM! I felt my body being seized as I stood over the garbage can.  It hurt everywhere and my kids were scared.  They know about throwing up, but they had never seen me like that before.  My son suggested that I drink more water as that is what helped him when he vomited and I said that that was probably what made it worse for me.

So here is my confession.  My name is Sara and YES, I drink water when I eat.  I have had swallowing problems for years and the only thing that really helps me is some water.  I keep it limited, but that is the only "lube" that helps.  I can justify it in my head as I stick to the correct portion sizes, but I know it isn't the BEST thing to do.

Here is my other confession, I don't eat enough.  I can't and/or don't feel the need to eat more.  I am sure there are people who would be very happy to have this problem.  True, I do not struggle with cravings or feeling the need that I need more so that helps.  I don't beat myself up about it, but I wonder when this habit is going to land me in serious trouble.  I know I need more protein, more calories, but I just can't seem to get it in.  I wish that the scale would show how very little that I am getting in (maybe  average 400 calories), but my weight loss has been steady, and not terribly spectacular (not that I am complaining, as I continue to lose).

I know I'm not here enough and I felt like being the Catholic I am and confess my sins.  I'm not really looking for sympathy, just admitting to myself and the masses that we all screw up and that the most important part is that we learn from the mistakes.

I know I eat to fast and I know that I don't chew well enough.  I also know that I don't give my eating process the attention it deserves.  These are and continue to be my demons.  I have improved SO much, but like an alcoholic with alcohol, it seems that I will always need to be aware of staying on the wagon.  There really are worse things in the world.

My weight loss has REALLY slowed this month and I think I experienced my first REAL stall.  Yes, it was frustrating, but everyone goes through it.  I'm two weeks away from 3 months and I'm hoping that I can eek out 10 pounds, but I'd be okay with the 8 that I have currently lost this month so far. 

My last setback is that I have had to stop training for my Half Marathon.  My right knee didn't feel that I got its consent and it staging a mutiny.  Apparently, the right hip has joined as well.  I was SO determined to finish under the time limit and not be picked up on the course, but I would be happy with getting to 9 miles by the time they do.  Our team, Team SOSC (Special Olympics Southern California), has a lot of people walking, so at least I will not be alone.  Next week, I am starting up training again, but just on my elliptical to help the healing, or at least quell the mutiny :)

Next stop: Half Way! (with more chewing)

In my opinion (and I am certainly not a doctor or NUT) you shouldn't be drinking while eating.  Use other things to lube your food making it easier to go down.  You are not getting enough protein or calories, especially if you are planning to do a half marathon or any exercising.  You should be eating double the calories.  It is amazing but the more you eat, the faster/more you lose!

Tough love coming here...

Why did you have the surgery, trust your surgeon to cut a large portion an organ out only to NOT TRUST what the plan tells you to do? He's good enough to cut you but not good enough to follow his advice??

They don't have these "rules" just for the fun of it, there are scientific reasons you should NOT drink when you eat, why you need those protein/calories/carbs that your plan calls for, your water intake goals, etc.

Come on, you committed to this for LIFE. Is it easy??? HELL NO! But it gets SO MUCH BETTER, I promise!

I'm only getting tough with you because this is your LIFE you are messing with! You mention your children, is this the example you want to set for them??

You can do this, you know what you need to do, JUST DO IT!

Well, I am just doing it!

My doc already knows about my throat/tonsils issue and has agreed that the 2-4 sips of water are not hurting me.  So, as for going through this and not doing what I am supposed to do, I got that covered.

I appreciate your reply, but the main culprit was not the water, but the fact that I didn't chew.  The water (2-4 sips per meal) helps get the food past my enlarged tonsils (they touch/kiss basically).

I have no need to block anyone as I know where I went wrong and fessed to it. :)

I'm preop and I'm so worried about this not being able to drink and eat at the same time.  I think that is going to be hard as I often get things stuck in my throat now. (preop)