I'm ready (finally)!
I signed my consent papers for the revision from the band to sleeve today. I was on the fence for months and months, fighting with myself (beating myself up because the band didn't work for me and I didn't work for my band) wishing that I could just do it on my own. I have been afraid of another surgery, too. The statistics do not support my fears. Today I say that I, too, will do well and have a successful surgery!!! I've been reading everything that I could find and second guessing the whole idea of a revision. It's been emotional and exhausting. Even as I drove to my appointment today, I took long deep sighs and was asking myself "Have you taken leave of your senses?"
Then something wonderful happened, it clicked. My already-sleeved friend told me that it would click and it did. I walked into my surgeon's office and I felt relaxed and certain. I got on the scale and saw the numbers. The proof... right in my face. I haven't been on a scale in a few months and although my clothes told me that I had gained, I did not know how much until today. I sat in the exam room waiting and thinking and waiting and thinking. My surgeon walked in the room and I said, "I'm ready." He smiled and said, "You're going to do great."
I finally realized that I owe it to myself to get this weight off of me and that I deserve another fighting chance. I'm thankful that I have a chance (with insurance). Instead of hating my band experience, I will embrace it and use what I learned (that I need support, exercise, and counseling) to make my sleeve experience a success. It's been a long time coming, but this breakthrough feels great. 
I also struggled with the decision to have VSG. I never had the Band, so I know you are on a different journey. In fact, I have not ever had major surgery in my life! The surgical aspect and the possible complications became a big focus for me and I found myself going back and forth and around and around about it. Like you, I have just recently felt that "click." In fact, it was not until I started my pre-op liquid diet five days ago! I am now starting to get really excited...I am visualizing concrete aspects of what my life will look like post-surgery and it is no longer all about the fear.
Ultimately, we have to put ourselves first and that is very hard to do...I am also grateful for the support of my therapist and the excellent support team at my surgeon's office. In my mind, the surgery will simply be the beginning.
Congratulations on this milestone!
Liberty
I have had four major spine surgeries in a three year period, so I KNOW what surgery is like. I won't have as a big a recuperation time as I have had with the spine surgeries, which is good. The thing that is stressing me out is the whole process leading up to the moment they put me to sleep. The fear of the pre-op room. Being wheeled into the surgical suite and being swarmed on by a bunch of people preparing to put me to sleep. Thats what freaks me out. The feeling of being out of control. I don't like it. But thats when I become a smart azz LOL. I already know what my pre-op instructions to the surgical team and my surgeon will be. I have a list of four things: 1. Don't let me wake up dead LOL. 2. Do NOT discuss my big boobs while I am sleeping. 3.Before you wake me up, EVERY ounce of that air you blow into my tummy had better be ALL gone when I wake up!!. 4. If you need my assistance during the surgery, do not hesitate to wake me up and ask for help LMAO. It's all I can do to diffuse the stress. Don't think I am NOT going to do it.
