Really feel like "eating" my feelings today...prayers needed...
My wonderful Father in law is doing really poorly...congestive heart failure, emphysema and now on oxygen. Spent all weekend with my in-laws and it is breaking my heart to see this fantastic man going so quickly and painfully downhill.
Today was a struggle with food...I was antsy, tired from the emotional toll of the weekend, and found myself going to the vending machine at work even when I wasn't hungry. It was amazing how quickly I reverted back to my prior ways.
I didn't eat though...stayed within my calorie/carb/protein goals, but it was a scary wake up call.
I took a walk to clear my head and it helped...now if I could just relieve this heavy feeling in my heart...
This is the tough stuff. My heart breaks for you and your family. CHF is horrible. I'm also a hospice nurse...so just remember, as painful as this journey is...he will find peace.
The really hard part is finding peace for yourself. Reverting back to our old coping mechanisms is easy, so in this case you keep doing what you're doing, fight that food pull, and stay strong. He wants that for you. Someday, his journey will be at peace...and you'll have to go on.
Hold your head high and be strong my friend. Prayers being sent your way...you'll get thru this.
Peace to you
~Deb
(I know you know...) the candy or crunchy carbs won't help the situation, or him, or you. They are just a distraction from the awesomely huge, difficult and immense time that is in front of you. Have courage. You will come out of this ok at the other end. The trick is to do no harm while you are about it. Remember to take care of yourself and give yourself loads of love while you are caring and loving someone in such need. Bless your heart, sweetie.
goal!!! August 20, 2013 age: 59 High weight: 345 (June, 2011) Consult weight: 293 (June, 2012) Pre-Op: 253 (Nov., 2012) Surgery weight: 235 (Dec. 12, 2012) Current weight: 145
TOTAL POUNDS LOST- 200 (110 pounds lost before surgery, 90 pounds lost Post Op.diabetes in remission-blood pressure normal-cholesterol and triglyceride levels normal! BMI from 55.6 supermorbidly obese to 23.6 normal!!!!