No such thing as WL vs maintenance...

I had an epiphany last night while eating dinner on vacation, and pondering the "race to the finish" then moving to maintenance -- and wondering how some people can do it.  Then I realized that I have always been in weight loss mode, at least mentally, since I was probably 10 years old.

I literally have no mental model of weight loss vs. maintenance. I realized that part of the reason I build in higher carb days when I'm on vacation, etc., is because there is a part of my brain that simply doesn't believe I can have a weight loss phase, then a maintenance phase.

My tiny dinosaur brain can simply not accept this concept because I have absolutely no experience in maintaining my weight.  A couple of months ago I was reading about a program (was it Beck?) that begins by having the person simply maintain their weight for some amount of time.  I thought that was an interesting concept, but it didn't "click" until today why that is so very important.

Just thought I'd share in case in helps other people focus early in their journeys.  It never occurred to me that part of the mental problem might just be that I understood the words (WL vs maintenance), but that I couldn't truly believe it.

This makes immense sense. I told a friend just yesterday, I have zero experience with maintenance. It is something I have never had the opportunity to do. The concept that *I* hold the keys is so very empowering.

I'll throw another one at you thats related.  Do you trust yourself to be able to maintain your weight?

Looking back the contrast between weight loss and maintenance is extreme in the set of behaviors they need.  Weight loss is mainly goal driven.  You get to goal.  The rules of the weight loss are simple - stay on plan, exercise, follow the program.

Maintenance is the great unknown and the goal is more amorphous - maintain.  The mechanics are similar;  The scale moves down - Yay is positive reinforcement, the scale misbehaves the other way - time to adjust.  The behaviors are different though, at least for me.  As the calories started increasing, as I saw my weight fluctuate, I wasn't sure what was right any more.  Do I stay the course, do I drop back to 600.  

What it came down to was that deep down, I didn't trust myself to maintain my weight.  In some ways I still don't.  I have to remind myself every day that I know how to do this and can.  The scale goes up, I know how to make it go down.  The scale goes too far down, I know how to make it go up.

I just have to believe it, and believe in myself.

My two modes are really not all that different actually.  I eat the exact same foods, just a little more of them.  I still exerciese, but not as much.  Simple. 

 

There is a huge and massive difference between weight loss and maintenance.  Maintenance is MUCH harder.

I think perhaps it would be fair that maintenance is harder for some.  For  me, it has been easier than weight loss mode.  I feel like I have more flexibility with making adjustments.  During weight loss I would avoid eating the slice of cake type thing, although still eat it every once in a while.  Now, if I want the cake it is not a big deal because I will adjust the next day or two if needed.  Not hard though.  I have been maintaining a little longer than what my weight loss period was so it is a good comparison point.  Now, I may be changing my tune in a few years... no crystal ball to know for sure!

 

About 2 years after you BEGIN maintenance is where the real work comes in.  Year 3 is where regain begins for most.  I am not referring to three years after WLS but 3 years after you begin maintenance.

I have done well, I have been in maintenance for over 5 years but your perspective really does change with time.

So, I'd like to push a little on this one. I could be totally off base and if I am, disregard what I have to say. Just humor me for a moment.

You state that you have always mentally been in weight loss mode since about the age of 10. I'd like you to look at that statement and think deeply about it. I think it's quite telling - mentally been in weight loss mode. Clearly you have not literally been in weight loss mode all that time. So, where we you mentally when you were not literally in WL mode? Were you still really mentally in WL mode? Were you in weight gain mode? Or were you perhaps in that mindless mode of eating so many of us engage in, often for years at a time? I think knowing the answer to this will be very helpful to you in the long run.

When you think of "maintenance" does it hold any meaning for you at all? Can you see it or imagine it? In hindsight, I could not. I could only envision the maintenance programs others had developed for themselves. I did not see that my maintenance should have been a plan that I developed just for me. It has taken me close to a year to understand what maintenance is really about for me.

I ask you this because during my journey I became very aware that I was quite good at losing weight and extremely skilled at gaining weight. What I had very little practice with was maintaining my weight at a healthy weight. I maintained my weight at 90 to 100 pounds above my ideal weight pretty easily. I could eat just about anything I wanted to at this weight, but I wasn't supporting a healthy weight or lifestyle.

I have actually given up on the idea of "maintenance" as I thought of it previously. There were two things about my core beliefs about maintenance I had to give up. They were: 1) I'm thin so I can eat anything I want (in moderation - he added oh so quietly in the recesses of my mind not really believing it); and 2) maintaining my weight means my weight must be absolutely stable.

With some help and guidance I have come to believe that for me maintenance is a multi tiered cycle of sorts. I firmly believe that from this point forward to be successful in the long term I will be in one of three modes - weight loss, maintenance or weight gain.

Maintaining a steady weight week to week, month to month is still hard for me. However, I weigh myself every day, I track my food and exercise and have followed my trends. I can't say that I exactly know how to maintain my weight yet. I'm working on it and learning to trust myself to tweak and adjust as needed.

I have maintained a clothing size for a year now. I am proud of that. But it is work and knowing, really knowing, that I can slip back and forth between maintenance (or mild gain) and weight loss has been very powerful for me. I think this is what people of average weight do constantly - often without recognition of even doing so. I believe this is how most people "maintain" their weights.

This is a big learning journey for everyone and not everyone will have the same journey. For many of us maintenance is where a lot of the mind trips and games come back into play. It is uncharted territory, as you so willingly admit. To really navigate these waters you will need to be super honest with yourself.

Hope this doesn't come across as negative. I feel very grateful for what I have gone through and learned in the last year. This is just something to ponder as you approach goal.

Very insightful!  I thought about adding a weight gain mode, and I'm guessing a lot of people will understand this, I never actually had a goal of gaining weight (LOL, though I guess I never had a real goal of maintaining either!).  

I was literally never at a normal weight (so from 10 til now -- mid 50s).  So even when I was gaining weight, I was thinking about losing it, if that makes sense.  Which, is even more frightening!  

At 183, I weigh less than when I was married 30 years ago.  I am three pounds away from the lowest weight I've had in more than 30 years -- my lowest teenage weight (when I entered college) was 165 (LOL, if I only knew then that I wasn't HUGE then!).  But I guess my point is that my brain is all screwed up around weight loss!

I still can't envision maintenance because I can't envision getting to my goal weight. I have no mental model of myself at a normal weight.  But I am determined that I am going to be successful -- it may take a while, but I will get there.

Thanks for taking the time to give me such a thoughtful response. It didn't come across as negative at all -- it was right on target, and gives me plenty to ponder!

 

This is a very significant post for me. I so appreciate what everyone has said.

The part of me that can/will maintain my weight is an unknown to me. I have no experience in that realm and feel unsteady.

I still have 30 lbs to lose but am on a series of vacations this month and next. While on vacation, I am trying to maintain. I have been successful so far but it seems like a fluke and not anything I am actually directing.

Your words are meaningful. Thanks again.

Annie