medical clearance next week..scared

Hey there, newb here. 

I have my medical clearance visit on Aug 27th. I am scared to death. I have been successful in my classes. The endo, pulmonologist, psychologist and cardiologist have all given me great scores and clearances. I am just scared because of my usual bad luck. I just recieved a letter from the high school where I work that there is no room in the budget for me and a few others this year. So I am now unemployed. I am still in school in the evening and like many others out there, I have personal problems/social issues. I started seeing a therapist and that has helped me as I am a private person who always keeps everything inside.

The reason I am scared is I want this SO badly. I attempted this process a few years back and then lost my health insurance. So of course I am afraid I'll strike out again (this time I'm on my husband's insurance). I wish I could have the surgery tomorrow. I started a gym membership a month ago. I'm so fed up with being disgusted with myself. I desperately want to have children. My PCOS complications have been out of control and they are part of the reason my endo pushed for me to have this surgery. 

I feel like everything is riding on this decision. My health, my happiness, my fertility. I'll do everything and anything it takes. 

SO in summary, did anyone else have these crazy overwhelming feelings before their final clearances? If so, how did you keep the crazy from leaking out? lol. I get so scared the insurance company may deny me, the surgery date may take forever, the doc will tell me I need to do more appointments/classes, etc. 

Sorry for all the whining----I don't know who else to complain to (besides the therapist lol) as obviously no one else understands other than you fine people in cyberspace. 

Just wanted to offer you some encouragement and wish you luck.

Take care

Thank you :-) I'm sure I'm feeling the same anxiety and nervousness others felt through their process. I just don't personally know anyone going through it in my area.

I can understand your concerns.  It took me forever to decide to have the surgery and then I wanted it YESTERDAY! hehe.  All I can say is hang in there.  In the big picture, it won't seem like so long.  Plus, you can use this time pre-op to practice healthy eating and all the wls-specific habits like limiting water before and after meals, eating meats first, eating slowly, etc.  It really helps to get these habits down before surgery.  I also lost 50 pounds pre-surgery and that made the surgery safer and helped me feel better about having the surgery. 

Best of luck with your weight loss journey.  Keep the faith.  It'll happen.

Carol

Thank you so much :-) You are right, this really is the best time for practice. I'm trying to work on eating slowly. Inhaling my food, no matter the amount, has always been a problem. Even a tiny container of yogurt disappears fast. So I am trying to time myself and force myself to take 20 minutes or more to eat a full meal right now.