"But It's Free!"

I had family visiting Texas from North Dakota last weekend, and they wanted to experience a Texas BBQ joint.  We all selected our food and went to the cashier to pay.  The cashier looked at my tray and said "what are you drinking"?  I said nothing.  

"Not even water?"

"No, thank you."

Her voice pitched up a little as she said "bu****er is free!'.  Meanwhile, the whole line was listening in to this silly argument about drinking.

So, in a semi-stern voice, I said "I don't drink with my meals".  

Her mouth open, she started to say something again until my Niece piped in and said "that's way healthier!".  Shaking her head, the cashier took my money probably thinking "stupid Yankees don't drink".  

This was funny, but it brought up all the times in the last 8 years (I had lap band for 7 years, which was revised to VSG last May) in a restaurant setting I've endured the wait staff being puzzled/hurt/anxious over why I didn't finish my meal.  I thought one poor waiter in Europe somewhere was going to cry because he thought I didn't like the food.  It seems like I'm always soothing wait staff, saying it was delicious, but I'm full.  And then having to explain to people I hardly know at the table (business meals) that I'm not sick, I really did like the food, and no, I don't want anything else instead.  

Society has put it in our heads that we must finish our plate and we must drink with our meals.  And we're being rebels by going against the norm, so have to be ready to fight our battles.

So my question is, what other society norms do you find yourself rebelling against?  And how do you handle it when wait staff get twisted about not eating or drinking?

I've read that many people have these same things happen to them! I've never had any wait staff comment on the amount of food I've left on my plate, but I do get a look sometimes. As for the water situation, I just order a water... because I do drink right up until eating. Then, when the food comes... I just pu**** aside and forget about it. Nobody ever says anything!

Ugh, I hate the "clean your plate" syndrome. Sometimes I STILL feel like I have a tendency to do this, but thankfully since I measure/weigh everything, cleaning my plate is pretty controlled!

When i go out to eat it is common for me to not eat much of the meal... and many times I will look like I barely even touched the plate.  Consequently, the manager or wait staff assume something is wrong with the food and inquire.  Even though I say it was good, they are at times persistent and end up taking it off of the bill.  I finally decided that if I say a few times it was good, and they still proceed- I am just done arguing, thank them, and leave a really nice tip.  

*lol*!!!!!

Maybe just accep****er, but don't drink it?

As for the meal thing, maybe you can hide some of it under napkins?

Nice!

I have only eaten out a couple times since surgery, and I just ordered water just to avoid looks. My hubby always needs a refill, so now he just drinks mine when he finishes his :) 

The first time I got grilled shrimp with roasted veggies and only ate like 2 or 3 shrimp. I could tell that the waitress wanted to ask me if everything was ok when I asked for a box, but she didn't. She just kept looking at my plate.

The second time I went to a local diner and got their special (meatloaf with gravy, potatoes, and green beans). It was the only thing on the menu that I thought I could eat. I ate like 1/3 of the meatloaf at the most and nothing else. The waitress asked me like 5 times if everything was ok. It got a bit annoying, but I just kept stressing that I wasn't that hungry. Geesh!

I cooked at a Waffle house part time to supplement my regular income a while back and a lady often came in and I saw she didn't want bread.  I asked her if she was going lo-carb and she told me about her RNY five years earlier.  I didn't believe her because she was so tiny.  She pulled out the pictures and showed me what she had looked like fat.  I was shocked.  I told her I was considering the surgery and she really encouraged me.  I will just tell people that I've had weight loss surgery and leave it at that.  I'm not shy about it anyway.

I don't mind telling people about my surgery either, but unless the person is familiar with our eating restrictions, sometimes it leads to an even longer discussion.  And outside of the US and Canada, our surgeries are not as common, so it's even harder to explain.  Sometimes you just want to get about the business of eating!

I'm with you Steve!  If I hadn't had a lady I met on a ferry ride tell me about her WLS I would never have had that seed planted and it was a co-worker in October of 2012 that had the surgery and though she didn't tell a lot of people she opened up to me.  Guess being overweight she knew I would understand.  I went 2 weeks later to my doc and got  a referral to the program. If it wasn't for her I would still be 265 lbs and in pain every day with knee and hip problems.

I'm a pretty "love me or leave me" person and don't embarrassed easily but if you can be proud of what you have accomplished and don't ever feel like you have to hide it from others :)

I tell the world I've had surgery. I am beyond proud of the choice to healthy life that I've made & because I am a sales manager I don't mind explaining the joy I feel. ;)