Moms & Dads - logistics question

I have a 1.5yo and a 3.5yo and a husband who is great with them but gets frustrated/stressed easily when they get tantrum-y or cranky.  We have daycare for the weekdays.  I want to minimize the stress on him b/c the smoother this goes, the more likely it is he will go ahead with his gastric bypass later in the year.

My surgery is on a Friday, the plan is to fly my mom up here Thursday night, she will take care of getting the kids to daycare Friday, and then she will watch them Sat-Sun but has to go home on Sunday night.  I should be released from the hospital Sunday lunchtime.

My surgeon said i will be weak, but that I am allowed to "parent" as long as I don't attempt to carry the kids around.

It is feasible to think that I will be at least a little bit useful on Monday morning? like sit on the couch to supervise their breakfast and dress them on Monday morning while my husband gets ready for work?  He would take them to daycare by 8am and I will stay home alone.

Any other things I should be considering regarding caring for/parenting my kids during the immediate recovery phase?

I don't think you'll be able to carry them for 4-6 weeks even though you might be increasingly mobile after 1-2 weeks.

Not sure if you were prepared for that length of time.  With 1.5 and 3.5 year olds that could present a few difficulties, but it is something you can work around.

The day care will be a big help in your recovery effort though.

Congratulations on getting this done so young!  I am 61 and I wish the sleeve surgery existed years ago.  Here are my observations- you will feel OK but tired. It is important that you NOT lift heavy objects (like toddlers) so you need to keep reminding the kids Mommy can't pick you up.  Lay out the breakfast things the night before and their clothes in the living room so you can supervise getting dressed while you rest on the couch. I suggest when they get whiny or want to be held you sit on the couch and have them come snuggle you.  Get the 3.5 y/o to be a big helper and bring you water or juice.  When they get home form daycare let the kids sit with you on the couch to read or watch a movie or take a nap together.  Have them put on a "show" for you while you rest.

Ask husband to make or bring home food for kids.  Ask mom to make a huge pot of spaghetti sauce or chili or something that can be frozen for individual meals for husband and kids.  Have a family day of preparing meals- husband included, they are his kids too.  Be lavish in your praise and gratitude for his and their help. Remind the kids that when you are better you will be able to play with them more. Remind Husband that if and when he has the surgery you will spoil him too. Have husband stop at the dollar store and bring home some "Good boy/girl" presents you can surprise the kids with every now and then for the first few weeks.

Be sure to have the food you are allowed on hand - broth (chicken broth mixed w/ V8 saved me the full liquids week), yogurt, protein shakes.  Get a club pack of chicken breasts and season them and bake them so you always have good protein in the fridge.

Be proud of yourself for taking this step to insure your family has you fit and healthy for many years to come.  Good luck!

Dee

Start practicing creative ways you can pick your kids up without picking them up lol 

Here's some ideas on how to get baby out of their crib:

Consider moving the crib so that it is close to a bed if it isn't already that way you can create a system of getting baby from crib to floor, without lifting and bending by you.

If baby isn't attempting to crawl out of his/her crib you can attempt raising the mattress level again that way you won't have to reach down and lift. 

If he/she stands in her crib and you hold them tight to yourself (using your arm muscles) you can just rotate and place them on the nearby bed and then they can climb down alone. If baby doesn't know how to slowly drop themselves to the floor from a bed then I would work on that in the days/weeks before surgery! 

The crib is in an L shape with the 3yo's twin bed, so I can get the little guy to climb in with a little help, and I might just leave the lifting out of the crib to my husband for a week or so.  The "baby" is almost 40 pounds, so he is an armful.

He can crawl down off of things just fine so getting him onto the twin to climb down will work once I can manage to lean in and at least pull him over the rail. 

I tried to get him in a toddler bed last month but he is just not mature enough for that yet  and after 2 weeks of horrible nights we put the crib back together.  crib for life!

Thanks for the tips!

It obviously depends on how you heal, but I was making my kids meals (begrudgingly--my husband was there, just oblivious to their need to eat) pretty much the day after I was home from the hospital.  Mine are older than yours (4 and 6 when I had my vsg), but I didn't have daycare during the week.  I think it will be fine, especially with daycare.  You need to be up and moving post-op, just do NOT lift them.  You might do some prepping pre-op (depending on how handy hubby is in the kitchen) so that you have easy things for their dinner.

It might also be a good idea to have the kids start "practicing" not climbing on you pre-op.  You will be sore and there will be a few days to a week when you really do NOT want a toddler kick to the stomach.  Since they are completely oblivious to where their knees, elbows, etc. end up, the best bet is snuggling up beside you, not ON you.  When either kid came near me post-op I'd remind them mommy had an ouchie on her tummy.

I also can only speak from my experience, but their came a point during my post-op liquids phase where I just could NOT sit at the table and watch them eat food while I drank YET ANOTHER protein shake.  That window, fortunately, was small, but keep that in mind as a possibility.  I was fine parenting, but hubby had to be in charge of actual meal time because it was just easier to hide in my bedroom on OH while they ate for a couple days.

I was discharged yesterday. I got up and took my 6th grader to school . Made her breakfast and combed her hair. Then came home and woke the 2 yo. Made her lunch and breakfast, got her dressed and then my husband took her to school. I climbed in bed after that for a morning nap! 

Totally doable on my part. No big deal really .

This is what I am hoping for! 

Good luck to you!

Hi

My kids were 2 and 3 when I had the surgery.  I spent three nights in the hospital and was glad I did so I had a chance to recover some without them.  But from my first day home I was taking care of them - just a bit more slowly.  My first morning home started out with my son taking off his diaper and getting poop on the carpet and my husband calling for me to help him fix it.  So there I was scrubbing the carpet on my hands and knees wondering where my nurse was.  

But I was really capable of taking care of them and just taking it a bit easy.  Thy were able to understand when I told them mommy has a boo boo and can't carry you.  I must admit that less than a week after surgery I picked my son up out of his crib. He woke in the middle of the night calling for me and I went and got him completely forgetting about my surgery.  The next morning I realized I picked him up.  When I told my doctor he said what mother with young children ever listens to the lifting restriction.  He had a very practical approach.  But I must note that my kids are little guys and my son was just 25 or so pounds.

i hope you have as smooth of a recovery as I had.  Good luck.

stephanie