My vacation frustration

I know you guys will totally get this, so I'm sharing...

I'm in FL visiting family.  EVERY DAY my meals are the hot topic for conversation! I'm so tired of it I want to start yelling at people, but unfortunately I've been raised to not argue with my elders.  It started with everyone wanting to know if I was served food on the plane and if so, was it something I could eat?  From then on, every time people start thinking of meals I become center stage.  "We're going out for dinner, where should we go?"  "How about *Restaurant A*"  "Well I don't know if they'll have anything SM can eat."  "SM, what kind of food can you eat?  We're trying to pick a restaurant."  Me..."I can eat meat.  I'm sure they'll have some there."  

"Well maybe we should just stay in and make something."  "We have fresh fruit at my house, let's go there and Joe will make his fruit salad!"  Me..."thanks, but I don't eat fruit.  Do you have any tuna?."  "Oh, we'll we have some lettuce and vegetables too, we can make salads to go with it.  You can eat salad on your diet, right?"  

EVERY TIME!

I had expected to be dining on fresh seafood here on the beautiful Florida coast, but 90% of my meals have been canned chicken or deli meat.  Aarrrrgh!

 

I totally understand what you're saying. I went to a restaurant for the first time since my surgery on Saturday. It was a first date and I had told him ahead of time I would only be eating the seared sesame Ahi Tuna appetizer and asked the waiter to serve it when my date's dinner arrived. I could only eat like 25% of an appetizer. It was delicious, too. But my eating so little and only taking tiny sips of water ( I know..I broke the rule) sort of made him more self conscious of what he was eating. It made me feel kinda bad. 

I just sort of wanted to blend in..not stick out like a 50 cent piece in a goat's a** LOL

OMG, I have not gotten to this point yet, but i am sure i will. My mom is a country girl, so she has already started cooking me something separate, etc. but i just was at my desk crying. " like a 50 cent piece in a goat's a**" # STOLEN. i thought i was going to die laughing.

When I told my family that I was going for Sleeve surgery I set some boundaries. The first one was to NOT COMMENT ON MY FOOD PORTION. I told them that I will be eating considerably less and bringing it to my attention will leave me feeling bad. I will be different and eating that way is what I have to do! You can either just handle the visit to Fla or speak up. I would speak up starting off with "i know that everyone is curious about the changes in my eating, ...". It can be a very positive interaction giving your family a sense of supporting you. 

Perhaps you could shock your family by telling them you have to eat worms, toads and lizards for protein.😳

When extended family asks me about my weight loss, I tell them I am having too much sex😳. They become embarrassed about being too personal.

Seriously, sorry you are not getting to enjoy the Florida flavors.

I'm sure it's getting annoying but how sweet that they are so concerned for you.  When the restaurant thing comes up again, why don't you offer to pick it?

You need to say we are going to dinner.I am not eating this canned chicken I didn't come to Florida to eat this crap.I hope you tell them. Change the subject to something about them maybe that will work. If you have internet access tell them you found a place that has food you can eat.

My parents have no idea I had the surgery.But I have not had the pleasure of dinning with them yet. My in-laws on the other hand do not care about food all they care about is booze.So if we went to Florida where they live they would be trying to wrap their heads around why I am not drinking with them.

It is funny or weird how people think you are handicapped and can't live a normal life after surgery. When I go out to dinner I usually order seafood if I don't eat all of it I share with my friends.I think they are happy about that. 

Hi, Milly...I feel for you but take your control back!!!!   If I were in Florida, I'd want to dine on fresh fish, too.  I'd tell my family not to worry about what I am eating and that I can eat anywhere!!!!  Tonight, have a restaurant picked out and GO!!!!

I feel your pain at having crummy FL family.  I'm pre-op still, but HFCS makes me violently ill.  When I visit the family in FL they make such a big deal of it and how they're reading labels on everything, but then every night they'd pick restaurants that mainly serve foods slathered in HFCS-laden sauces.  It was so aggravating for me and very uncomfortable.  

Your post makes me realize a) why I won't tell them about my surgery and b) why I should never visit them again :P

You don't have to ARGUE with your elders (although it escapes me why one adult cannot disagree with another, you're not 7 anymore).  

Simply and firmly tell all of them at once or individually that YOUR EATING HABITS ARE NO LONGER OPEN FOR DISCUSSION.  PERIOD.   Lather, rinse, repeat as necessary.  Do not allow yourself to be drawn into any such conversation. Do not give any reply except the highlighted statement above.  You are not obligated to explain or justify ANYTHING. You are an adult--wear that mantle.

You are under no obligation to answer any questions from anyone. You are under no obligation to honor the information or opinions of people who do not respect your wishes and personal privacy. This is the time to grow a spine and stand up for yourself. It is not about arguing, because it is highly unlikely that you will educate or sway any of them anyway. Save your breath. It is simply a matter of creating normal adult boundaries. If someone's feelings get bruised because you reject their inappropriate behavior and comments, that's their problem, not yours.

Make yourself the restaurant guru. One of the best parts of traveling is enjoying local foods. Suggest seafood restaurants. If you're going to a relative's house for a meal, stop at a market or deli and get something you can eat or make something and take it with you so you can continue to eat on program. It's not hard.  Take responsibility for your food choices, plan ahead and be prepared.