Wanting to have kids now... or later?? PLEASE HELP!

Hey everyone,

It's been quite some time since I posted but I have a curious question. The dilemma I'm having now is I'm halfway to goal, which is quite some time away since I was one of the heavier patients, BUT.... do I have a child now or do I wait until I'm finished losing weight? Now hear me out... I'm 27 and stable but my whole thing is I lose all the weight, get my body lift, then I have kids and get back fat again. In my head I feel like what's the point of going through all of that only to revert back while having children?

Now, I'm thinking if I have them now then I can finish losing afterwards, then get my body lift to repair the damage that I've done already and the child bearing damage. I only want 2 kids about 3 years apart. I know some will say, "Oh, you can be a fit mother, and so forth," but let's be real... There's a great chance that I'll end back up at sqaure one regardless.

I'd love to have some opinions and responses because I don't know what to doooo....

I am not in your situation now as I have already had my 3 children and they are grown, youngest 15.  But if I were in your situation now, I would go ahead and get the rest of the weight off now.  Stay focused on this goal.  When you get pregnant you are going to have the temptation of "Oh, it is just baby weight and I can it off later so you will eat more, etc."  Right now you are focused on your weight loss, once the kids start coming you will be tired, you may be stressed, you are going to be looking after someone else and we as mothers tend to put others first.  I would get the weight off but not have any lifts and then have your babies.  Stay aware of your weight at all times and stay focused on eating healthy.  You will probably put some weight back on after the child is here and it may be a struggle to get it off but at least it won't be the weight while you were pregant and the extra weight you never got off before.  After having your children and keeping your weight at a certain weight for a while then get the lift.  I didn't have to but I know some surgeon's make you sign something you won't get pregnant for a certain period of time.  (I don't know what would happen if you did but given a choice and there not being any necessity on your part then I would wait)

As someone who went though 2 pregnancies in the 300s - I say, you are young, finish losing your weight, learn to maintain and then have kids.

Pregnant in the 300s is tough, you risk complications like high blood pressure which uncontrolled can cause issues with your placenta and put baby's health at risk.  You could also develop pre-ecclampsia (a combo of high BP and kidney malfunction - very scary and risk premature delivery).

I had high blood pressure both times, was on BP meds, had to see a regular OB plus a perinatologist, I had 3 appointments a week in the end, one with my doc and 2 at the maternal fetal medicine clinic to monitor baby's health.

My 2nd pregnancy was riskier and more complicated than the first.  I had a big baby, then a HUGE baby - which is likely due to my size and possible borderline gestational diabetes too.

Yes, I ended up fine, both my kids are healthy - but I am not tempting fate on a 3rd while I am this weight.

I decided to have VSG and lose my weight before pursuing a 3rd pregnancy.

My WLS clinic strongly advises NO pregnancy until 18-24 months post op.  They view pregnancy as wasting the WLS b/c being pregnant makes it harder to lose or learn to maintain - also there can be malnourishment concerns for you and baby if you are not taking in what your body needs.

I suggest talking to your surgeon and your OB - get the facts.  Understand your risks, and take care of yourself first - isn't that why you had surgery?  to get healthier?  getting pregnant now would just stall your progress and put you and baby in a riskier than necessary situation.

Wait until after you get to your goal before you start having kids.  Being obese and getting pregnant can create a lot of issues and complications.  You don't want that.  Once you get to goal and maintained for a while then start trying to have kids.  After the kids then have the plastic surgery. 

In my opinion, you owe it to your future children to be in the best physical shape possible BEFORE you get pregnant so you can have a healthy pregnancy.   Lose all the weight now; have your beautiful babies; and THEN get your body lift.  You'll still have lots of years to show off your sexy self!  

I second Tracy! 1) Healthy, 2) Babies, then 3) Plastics. As a fellow 20-something, I wouldn't want to risk having plastics, THEN stretching things out again with pregnancies. Plastics is the sort of thing that I would want to only do ONCE! 

My heaviest pregnancy was my most complicated and in the end the edema I had flooded my lungs with blood and if it weren't for machines keeping me alive for a week while my body fought back I wouldn't be here.

We are not invincible. I know you feel young but your weight will have more to do with pregnancy complications than your age will. I agree with the others to stay the course and get the weight off now. There's nothing stopping you from holding off on the plastics once you reach goal and having children. Then when you have your little nest you can look into that bodylift.   

Part of the reason I had this surgery was so that I could lose the weight and hopefully have a successful,  healthy pregnancy in my future. I'm getting married in October and want to start a family as soon as my surgeon allows. 

the smaller you are when you get pregnant, the better your pregnancy will be in terms of energy and weight gain.  I was 260/270 when I got pregnant and gained 35 pounds.  Luckily, I didn't have high blood pressure and gestational diabetes. But the risks of both of those are higher when you weigh more.  I'd say get under 200 before you even think about having a baby. Get to a point you know your sleeve and go from there.  

I dont think its a question so much as gaining weight after. Its more that if you lose the weight now you will more than likely have a healthier pregnancy and therefore its safer for both you and the baby. In addition, if you lose the weight I am sure your body is going to be healthier b/c you have implemented a fitness plan as well. This totally helps when carrying a baby especially for recovery afterwards. I started both my babies at like 205 and gained at least 50 pounds with each of them. The weight did come off afterwards HOWEVER, I had 2 pregnancies that were ridden with complications and not safe for either one of them nor me. You go through more testing and more "what ifs". Definitely stay on track. The decision to have a baby should never come out of b/c you are afraid of not losing the weight after. It should be are you ready to be a parent and if you are is your body ready to carry a child?

And to be perfectly honest (and i say this totally with smirk and NOT condenscending at all), if you think you are going to have time to totally focus on yourself while working (if you do that) and have a baby/toddler, etc. you are severely mistaken LOL.

In the end its totally your decision. I say you are so young, take the time meet your goals now. Get yourself healthy so that you can be healthy for your babies.

Good luck with whatever road you choose to follow!