Got my date....still not excited.

So, after 9 months of appointments, I finally got my surgery date, June 10th.  

This is the first surgery of my life, and I am have major anxiety over it.  If something goes wrong, the thought of leaving my 2.5 year old daughter and wife behind is eating at me.
I have done decently on my pre-op weight loss...I am down over 20%, so part of me just wants to chicken out and cancel everything.

Anyone have any tips to overcome this?  

I wasn't excited until a few days after surgery.  The morning of I felt like I wanted to back out but knew that I needed to follow through.  Then post op I didn't feel great for the first 2 days so had those moments of buyers remorse but then it all shifted.  I started feeling better and healing, then before I knew it my energy was up, the weight was coming off, things got easier and now I am 3 weeks post op.  

Hang in there! 

Rox

I think it's normal to have anxiety.  And I think the best thing to do is to keep your eyes on the prize.  What will you gain from this surgery?  It's possible that your daughter and wife would be left behind due to obesity complications if you don't solve it.  Have you lost weight before and gained it back?  (Most of us have.)  Without surgery, the 20% you've already lost might follow the same trend.  

I'd also highly recommend finding a therapist that you click with.  Having a therapist can really help unpack all of the brain stuff - the surgeon handles the stomach stuff.  

I wasn't excited about mine at all.  I sure had all the normal nerves and cried at the drop of a hat the week before, but never got "excited".  I just wanted to get it over and wake up and then I knew I'd be fine.

What I have woken up to is so much more than I ever realised.  I lost 88.9kg/195lbs in 12 months and now have a life that makes me realise that I was kinda asleep for the first 40 years! I'm smaller now than when I was 12 and truly living for the first time.

Being anxious, scared, emotional is totally normal.  But just focus on the guy you are going to be able to be for your wife and daughter in 12 months time.  It's totally worth it!  :)

Great advise so far, but I'll add mine too. I haven't had my WLS yet, but I've had two other surgeries in my life. If you can put your trust in the surgical team, you go to sleep and wake up again, with the procedure done, just like magic. Only you have some painful places on your belly!  (That was my lap gall bladder surgery).  You will feel a lot of fatigue as your body spends its energy healing, but take it slow and enjoy the successes that follow. 

I don't know if its true for you, but I know when my husband had hip replacement surgery, he had a hard time giving up control to his caregivers in the hospital. He was essentially helpless, and it turned him into someone I've never known!  Don't know if its a guy-thing or not, giving yourself up to having nurses and doctors take care of you, but if you can allow this to happen, you'll do fine. Maybe you can take charge of yourself by getting up to do your walking. You will feel more empowered. Hope this helps!  Good luck, don't give up now!

Congratulations on getting your date.  Mine is about a week and a half out and I'm alternating between excitement and backing out.  I've had two surgieries in the past, a tubal ligation and reduction mammoplasty, both what some folks consider 'elective', however I know my life would have been much, much different (and not in a positive way) if I hadn't had either of them.

In 2001, I discovered I had some food intolerances and allergies.  By removing those foods from my diet I lost an immediate 40lbs.  The loss of that first 40 made me mobile enough to do yoga and through that I lost another 50.  I enjoyed the 90lb. loss while eating and exercising effortlesly for a decade, then found myself beginning to gain back in 2012.  I have tried many different things and can't seem to get back where I was.  I do have comorbidities and the doctor who has done the most for me in my life and who I respect and trust agreed when I said I wanted to look into the surgery.  After seeing all the specialists I realize that if I want to be here to hopefully someday be a grandmother (and my kids keep informing me they aren't planning to be parents any time soon) I have to do something.  I have 35 of that 90 back and I am miserable and uncomfortable. 

When I went for my endoscopy I almost chickened out, but I'm using that experience now to remind myself that I will go to sleep and wake up and it will be done.  I want to live a long time.  I want to be healthy and mobile enough so that ten years from now I can be the grandma who takes the kids to the park, not the grandma who is stuck in a recliner.

Maybe imagining the things you will do with your wife and little girl in the future will help ease the feelings some?

After only 6 weeks I can still tell you I would do it again in a heart beat. ... I no long take any blood pressure meds. .I no longer hook up to a sleep apnea machine ... I can already do so much I couldn't do before play with my kids with  out huffing and puffin like i did...play with my Grand daughter and get on the ground and back up and run and she smiles more cause I can play with her now.... remember this is ultimately for you...but the benefits will be loved by all... I think we all we nervous in some way or another.. best of luck on your journey,  to the new and healthier you!!!! ;-)

Congrats on your WLS. I know you're a guy so my experience will not be the same for you but I will share anyway. I had to have major surgery three times in order to have healthy babies. At the time of each surgery, my focus was on health-the baby's and mine. I never second-guessed my need for those surgeries.

This is how I approached my WLS. It was necessary for my health and for my family. I trusted my medical team and believe in the goodness of humans---they really do want to do their best. (I work in the medical field)

I am so happy with my new normal and my health. I have no regrets. Good luck to you.

I understand- this will be my first major surgery too.  I keep reminding myself that I am not doing this out of vanity or selfishness but rather as an investment in my long term health so I can be the best parent and partner possible for many, many years to come.  I grew up with a morbidly obese father and I was always worried about him (still am!) and it has been very sad to see all the ways that his weight has limited his quality of life.  I have a frank talk with my surgeon about my fears and asked him lots of questions about risks and possible complications and I felt much better afterwards.  Best of luck!

I was ecstatic when I finally got my surgery date.  I tried for 2 years to get insurance approval & was so upset the first time I was turned down.  Yes, you can lose & become healthier just by following a better diet & exercise plan but I was unable to lose as much as I am now with just doing that.  I've had more surgeries than I care to remember...I have a daughter, had complications during her birth, female surgeries with complications, kidney stone removal surgeries, just a long list of stuff but the only two things I wanted was my daughter & this surgery.  I feel better now than I have in years & am doing lots more stuff with my daughter now than before.  Get excited! you've gone through the process of appointments & with a positive outlook & attitude I'm sure you'll do great with the surgery.  YOU have to decide what's best for YOU but you did start the process for some reason right?  Good luck with whatever you decide, praying about it helps.  Best wishes to you.