Skinny Shaming?

I live in a campground during the summer, and my brother and SIL have their own camper here, visit on the weekends but live an hour away.  They are on vacation this week, so are spending the week here.

My SIL's uncle died unexpectedly, and she needed to attend a family event and the funeral this week, and needed clothes befitting a funeral.  So one night she said she needed dressier clothes, looked at me, and said "hint hint".  She wanted to borrow something from my closet.  

That's not a problem, except that I'm a size 6/8 and she's a size 18/20.  What was she thinking?  How do I respond to her without hurting her feelings?  

I told her that all I had were mediums, and would that work?  She snorted and said "of course not - don't even bother".  And then seemed mad at me.  

A little later she commented on the fact that I seem to always have my legs crossed when sitting and she thought that was odd.  By now I had enough of the "skinny shaming" and said that I only started to cross my legs when I lost the weight because I could.

Am I too sensitive?

Sensitive? ....No !    You must defend your health at all cost.  I do believe people who make comments like that are just jealous.  Just tell youself

"Her moods are not your DRAMA"  and let it drop!

I agree - it's her issue, not mine.  

I lost a lot of weight before so I know what your are talking about. I wouldn't allow any of that passive aggressive stuff with my naturally thin family and friends who were having a hard time handling me not being the heavy one. But I was very careful with all my family and friends who were heavy. Everything she says is really a reflection of her feelings and has very little to do with you. It is so hard to be a size 18/20 next to a size 6/8. It is even harder when it is someone who has managed to lose the weight. Just keep remembering that and don't take it personally. I just ignored it and tried to compliment my friend and talk about something else. Naturally thin people drove me nuts though with the thin shaming though and I was just blunt with them.

I remember that myself - and I still see the fat girl in the mirror in spite of my true size.  Passive aggressive is a good term for her behavior!

When people say negative things about you, it is not a reflection of you, its a reflection of them. Clearly she feels bad about how she looks and is projecting that on to you because you look great. 

Part of my journey has been learning to not take things personally. When people make snide comments about how much I've lost or my methods for doing it (which rarely happens), I have to do a lot of self-talk to remember that its not about me, its about them.

Hear...hear...great response Ms.PinkNoley

Well, thank you!

*Curtsy*

I agree 100%!  

Well ... this is a little tough.  If you are a really nice person like me, then maybe just cut her some slack because she is going thru a rough time with her uncle dying unexpectedly and the fact that she doesnt have anything appropriate to wear for the funeral.  I dont like her comment though of, "don't even bother".  That's not really a nice thing to say. 

If she notices that you always cross your legs while sitting down it's probably because it is in fact something only most thinner people can do.  She might be resentful towards you because of your weight loss.  I guess we just have to take it with a grain of salt.  You might be a little sensitive about it but I also hated feeling like I had to defend my smaller frame to my bigger friend whenever I could tell my appearance bothered her.  She talked a lot of crap behind my back.  After a couple years, I let her go.  Your SIL is family and she's probably not saying anything behind your back.  Try to just let it roll over if you can.  Hopefully she just needs some time to get over what happened. 

Best of luck to you!!!