NSV, Hair Loss, and Upcoming Event

Warning: This is going to be a long post. So you have my apology in advance. Feel free to move on if you like.

First (The HAPPY one): I had a MAJOR NSV today. My DH and I went shopping today, took the dog to be groomed and dropped off all the Christmas cards my Mom and I wrote (about 100) at the post office. While my husband went into the post office, I had a crazy idea. I decided to try on the seat belt. Now, you have to understand that I have not worn a seat belt in over 10 years. It simply wouldn't buckle. I could have bought a couple of extenders, but I never did. Guess what... not only did it buckle, but it was loose! Now, it wasn't so loose that it was a problem, but I didn't have to strain to get it buckled and it didn't cut off my breathing. I was like a normal person in a normal car wearing a normal seat belt. And I was still able to lean over to the drivers seat and scoop up the newly groomed puppy for a celebration squeeze. And then I pointed it out to DH when he came out of the post office and he almost cried. I did cry. Everyday, I am approaching and feeling more "normal".

Second (The bad one): I have begun to lose hair. At the crown and on the right side. I know this is normal, but I was really hoping it would not happen to me. I don't look good in short hair, so I'm not sure what my options are. I have an appointment with my surgeon tomorrow and will discuss it with her, but am resigned to just waiting it out. I'm thinking a perm might help to bring some body to what I have left. Has anyone out there gotten a perm and made the situation worse? I'm also thinking of investing in a quality wig. Especially since I will be going to job interviews in the next couple of months. Thoughts?

Third (I'm not sure exactly how I feel about this one): I will be going to my previous job's Christmas party on Thursday. Every year, the Sheriff and his top level staff put on a luncheon for all 3000 employees. It is a food fest and all employees can bring family and/or friends and is an all day event. I've been invited by 3 of my best friends who I used to work with and I've decided to go. For those of you that are not aware, I worked for the Sheriff's office for over 17 years and they "eliminated my position" on October 13th, just one week after I had my VSG surgery. I know they were hoping that I would over extend my leave so they could fire me for cause, but I was back to work in 5 days. My layoff was a political issue. There were several factions (females) that felt threatened by my accomplishments and abilities and took advantage of a new administration to eliminate me. So there is some angst that I'm feeling about showing up on Thursday.

But this is something I need to do. I need to go in, with my head held high, and show the evil few that they didn't crush me. I know that I will get a new position that will pay far more than what I was making. So in a way, it is a good thing that I am now free to pursue another position as I would never have left my old position voluntarily. My position pays triple digit salaries in the real world and I was making no where near that. But I stayed on as I felt that I was making a difference and supporting a group of men and women who put their life on the line for the public every day. I felt that once I hit 20 years and was able to do early retirement and qualified for a partial pension that I could consider moving on, but they took that away from me too.

So, over the last 60 days, I have been working through a lot of anger and sadness issues in addition to the mental work I've been doing regarding my eating disorder. Thursday will be a major accomplishment for me and I think I will be able to move on after going back and smiling and playing nice with the nasty element that did this to me. And as a bonus, I will spend time with some true blue friends whom I've avoided since I left.

So Thursday will allow me to reconnect and disconnect all at the same time. I will reconnect with some very good people and disconnect with the evil people whom I've rented space to in my mind and heart. I will kick them out of my mental space and wash my hands of them and move on.

Please keep me in your prayers on Thursday, this is not going to be an easy thing.

If you made it this far, thank you for listening. I truly appreciate it.

Diane

Congrats on your NSV! That is truly wonderful. The hair loss is sucky! I lost hair 11-ish years ago when I had the lap band, so I?m anticipating this. My daughter had me buy these clip in hair extensions for her that are made from real hair. They look super natural and are very easy to put in. I plan on using those if it gets too bad.

Unfortunate about your job. It always burns a little when you?ve put so much time in and then your dropped like a hot potatoe with no notice. I would bet there is something better out there waiting for you. Best of luck in your job searching process!!

Thank you Shannon. I hadn't considered extensions. I'm thinking about going perm so it should be easy to hide those in my hair.

Research says that there isn't much you can do about the hair loss, so I think a wig or something to artificially boost the volume of what you have is probably a good idea. I've had exceptional hair loss and I think it's slowing now. Maybe. Luckily I had a huge head of hair and now I have less, but it's not noticeable to anyone but me.

As for your job, go in with your head held high and show off your new weight loss!

Thank you Erin. I'll post Thursday night and tell everyone how it went. I'm afraid I have fine hair as it is so it is going to become very noticeable, but I will manage! Shannon also suggested hair extensions and I'm going to look into that.

I agree with Erin completely here. Not much to do with the hair loss and hold your head high - enjoy the time you get to spend with your friends and focus on them as much as you can!

The one thing I did want to add - you say you don't look good with short hair. And I say - you might! I never thought I'd look good with short hair either, but that was before I started losing weight. I shaved my head 6 weeks post-op (for my dad, for St. Baldricks, and to avoid the potential telogen effluvium of surgery). And I've kept it short ever since because I think it quite suits me!

So while previous-you might not have rocked short hair, current-you very well may :) Might be worth talking to your stylist about!

I thought about your suggestion. I'm going to slick back my hair and upload a current pic of my face to one of those beauty sites and experiment with hair styles. Thank you for the idea!

I totally echo what the others above have said about the hair and job issues. I hope all the best for you as you face everyone this week and I am sure a new door will open for you. Yay for the NSV!! Things like that are the best!!

Thank you Reree! I will post Thursday night and let everyone know how it went. Good or bad. LOL

Look into "Toppik" hair fibers. They sprinkle into your scalp and hang onto the hair that's there, making it look a little fuller and disguising bald spots. I used it and it worked really well!

At the party, I'd suggest having a drink in your hand at all times, even if it's just a water glass. That will make it easier to not hang onto a plate, and if someone tries to offer food you can just say, "I've got a drink, I'm good, thank you!"

You can do this!