BANDIS4ME
1/21/10 Here I am! 4 months out!
Jan 20, 2010
I am so excited! I am now 4 months out and doing really well. So far I have lost 95 ls as of yesterday! Wooo hoo! At first, I didn't really pay attention to myself in mirrors and stuff because I really didnt see a change in my body and it was kind of bumming me out. But I knew that I had to be patient and things would get better. This past few weeks has been an enormous change in my body and looks that are finally noticable to me. One day, a couple of weeks ago, when I passed by a mirror in my apartment, I was startled and had to back up! I was shocked by the image of a smaller me when I looked back in the mirror! Was that really me? Is this a dream? Fantasy? if so, please, please, don't wake me up! I have now lost 95 lbs. so far! Alahmdulillah! I never in a million years thought I could do that! I haven't been this low since high school! It will be really weird to me when I get smaller because I have never ever been thin in my whole life. I wonder how that will feel? I am so happy that I went thru with this and was able to find another way to get this surgery done. As the verse goes, when God closes a door, He always opens a window and He truly did that for me. If that hadn't of happened, I would never have gotten this surgery done on my own, I just couldn't afford it.It has not been easy and I have made mistakes; mistakes that I truly paid for. I am not perfect nor will anyone who does this. I am still trial and error when it comes to eating but I am going to see my nutritionist next month. I read everyday on groups how people have had this surgery and eating themselves right back to where they were. In a sense, I really don't understand how people can do that; but to some extent I do. It is hard to leave behind a trail of bad habits and eating, especially if it has been years or a lifetime of doing the same ingrained habits over and over and over again. That is exactly why I am going to start therapy, insha'allah, next month. My issues that made me overeat are turning its ugly head and I wanna nip that in the bud. I think that I may need some help with past issues and feelings about the current dissolution of my marriage. I haven't done anything too stupid but I find myself wanting to eat more or making unwise food choices, after fights with my mother or soon-to-be ex-husband. After tasting a little bit of thinness for the first time, I never, ever, ever, never want to go back. Well, I am outtie! I'm in New york taking care of my friend Khadija and her son because she is having a RNY done, too! Today as a matter of fact. She is on this site, too (Khunabah). Khadijah has had a lot of drama and hard times in her life, like me and she needs to finally put the past behind her and this will help do that! We are starting over this year and choosing a new life and positive outlook! Viva la RNY!
Well, I still hav no permanent internet access but, God willing, I am trying for February. Wish me luck.
