it's been too long....

Jan 02, 2012

Wow... I didn't realize that it's been so long since I've been on here.  I feel a bit embarrassed.  I had my surgery... lost a shitload of weight... was feeling great and confident... on top of the world.  Now not so much.  Three years after my surgery I gave birth to the most beautiful and perfect baby girl.  I actually lost weight during my pregnancy and weighed the least I have in my life that I can remember... 185... so close to that "healthy" 172 that would get me off the "obese" BMI level... I was happy.  Then I seemed to forget to stop eating like I was pregnant... and I was tired... then last year was just a really bad year... money problems...job problems... vet bills... car bills...bills bills bills... and last spring I tore my meniscus in my knee and had to get knee surgery...ugh... it's been really downhill since.  I got in this funk... Im still in this funk... but I've decided to get out of it.  I need to.  I want to be healthy for my girl and my husband... I want to feel good about myself again and not disgusted by how I look and feel.  This year will be different... I am going to make a difference in myself.  I want that happiness and feeling back when I lost of this weight... and I don't want to go back to who I was.... I hate her so much.  So this year I am really going to try...no I'm going to do it... making a recommittment to MY cause.  Stay tuned I guess... today is DAY ONE of the RENEWAL.........

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