One month until my surgery day! I am getting excited to start this new chapter in my life.

I scheduled my surgery for 9/24. I am excited and nervous and feel guilty all at once. I am excited about the future and the hope that this time I might actually succeed in losing this weight and keeping it off. I am excited that some day soon I will be able to put on a "regular" sized pair of jeans. That my thighs won't rub together anymore and that I won't keep getting rashes under my arms and breasts from all the extra fat that rubs together. I am nervous because I am afraid of all the things that could go wrong. I am nervous that I won't get all my water drank everyday and that I won't manage to eat all my protein everyday or take my vitamins. I feel guilty because I feel like if I had just tried harder, had more will power or more self control I might have been able to do this without surgery.