Cleopatra_Nik

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I realized something interesting today.  None of the various clocks in my life display the correct time.  On some level I’ve always known this.  I keep my bedroom alarm clock a couple of minutes fast so that I will wake up on time and my car clock is a couple of minutes faster than that.  My watch is a few minutes slow as is the clock on my work computer.  For some strange reason the clock on my home computer keeps reverting back to Pacific time and is thus 3 hours slow.

That got me to thinking.  How do I really know what time it is?  In actuality, I don’t think we ever do.  Time is a deception in some ways.  We can manipulate it to our liking.  Most of does so at least twice a year, both times to extract the most sunlight possible for our own enjoyment.  And for those who don’t join in that practice you do it once every four years when you add an extra day onto the end of February because that’s less confusing than adjusting the time you say “Happy New Year!” every year.

Just as we manipulate time to suit our needs, I am realizing that I (and many people I know I suspect) manipulate our thoughts for our own needs.  I have been fat most of my life.  And I can’t even count how many diets I’ve been on and how many times I’ve vowed to lose weight.  And then I sabotaged myself somehow.  Whether knowingly or subconsciously I did things that stunted my progress until I finally gave up.  I am realizing now that one of the reasons that I did that was because in my head I never fully believed that I would lose the weight.  If I wasn’t really going to lose it, why put in that full effort.

Therefore, people who fail should not be looked down upon because, by their very nature, are resilient because they are still here.  Fear of failure is normal, but without failure there can be no progress.  Success is fleeting and it wants its full 15 minutes of fame.  So we manipulate the circumstances to our advantage.  And that’s nothing to be ashamed of.  It’s proactive.  It’s recognizing that there are certain limitations in the world, but guess what?  The things we can manipulate are malleable because we are meant to manipulate them in order to achieve progress.

So that’s my wisdom for today.  WLS patients, in short, know what time it is.  We just recognize that by adjusting the time a little we can accomplish so much more.

Since I am just starting this blog I'll say that my 2 mos. appointment did NOT go well.  I was told I was not eating enough and that I would not lose the weight if I did not eat more.  That was very disconcerting for a number of reasons not the least of which being that I have spent my whole life being told to eat less.  So now that I am eating less now I'm being told that my weight loss hinges on me eating more!!!  

Well, I figured out that for me eating every two hours will get me close to the calorie target that my surgeon suggested (800 cals/day with 60g of protein).  It was hard work because the sheer absence of hunger pangs makes eating a very different experience.  Most of the time I am happiest when I don't have to think about food or eating.

So fast forward to the other day (April 3rd).  My hard work paid off!  I busted through my plateau and pulled out a 21 lb. loss for the month!  I was so relieved.  This process is an emotional rollercoaster.  The highs are great and the lows...not so much.