I still haven't had surgery and it looks like I'm not going to. Eating wise I've been doing a lot better. Portion control is my new friend. Exercise though...I'm a slacker it seems. I did start up again today though so I'm going to try to keep up with it. I've lost another size and I'm almost down 50lbs from my highest weight. I never thought I could do this on my own and I am. My weight loss has slowed quite a bit, but 2lbs a week isn't too bad for someone without surgery I guess. I'm hoping once I really get exercising again it will pick up a bit more. Still a slave to the scale, but only really taking my Monday readings seriously.

I've been reading everyone's posts and blogs and you all seem to be doing great! I hope you are all proud of yourselves. This is hard work and you're doing it.

I haven't been posting much lately because I just don't feel like I fit in much here anymore since I'm not having surgery, or have had surgery. I'm still trying to lose weight and succeeding...this is an obesity website, but it seems more for WLS. I still check in every other day or so to keep up with the friends I've made on here...and let me say you guys are doing awesome! 

I keep setting little goals for myself and slowly I'm hitting them. I'm comfortably a size smaller, and I'm 2lbs away from a mini goal. Hopefully I'll be there next weigh in. I've been keeping track of my weight, I only record Monday's weight, but I must admit I do weigh myself more than I should during the week out of curiousity.

I'm still having trouble with exercise. My eating habits have improved, with some slip ups here and there, but I'm human. Whatever I'm doing is working, but I know I need to do a bit more since the weight loss is slowing down a little. As long as I keep losing I'm not going to have surgery. I had my stress test and it came back fine...the surgeon's office hasn't called me and I haven't called them. My family doc told me the results of the test.

Keep up the good work everyone and if you want feel free to comment or message me since I do check often.

I started this journey last fall when a doctor hit me with the suggestion of WLS. I had never considered it before and when she said I could be dead at 40 if I stayed the way I was I knew it was time to do something. Well I started researching and signed up so to say for surgery. I did all my testing, read books, joined here, went to support groups. As we all know I even got as far as getting a surgery date after months and months. Started my preop liquid diet and then they postponed my surgery. Off and on through this process I have been having doubts about even having the surgery. During my physician supervised diet I lost 21lbs. Still have it off. For the short time I was on the liquid diet it showed me if I have to do something I can do it. I knew if I ate something my surgery could be screwed up and I could die. Didn't want that to happen obviously so no food. So now with no surgery date in sight I'm tossing around the idea of not having surgery at all. I'm thinking of telling them I need a month or so to really think about it because I'm not 100% and I can't go into this like that. I know I've tried a million times and failed. I know my health problems are working against me. I lost 21lbs though all by myself, in a healthy way. Slow, yes, but I did it. I didn't do any extreme diets or work out like a maniac (to the point where it's not healthy). I figure if I can continue to lose weight over the next month or so I will try on my own. Usually I end up off the wagon within a month so I'm pretty sure I'll figure out if I need surgery. So that's where I stand. I don't know if I should keep coming here or not if I decide against surgery because the site is pretty much WLS focused. Maybe I'm being crazy, but deep down...I feel like I could do it this time.

So I got the call yesterday to get my surgery time and stuff. Well that call was the beginning of several calls yesterday which all ended in me not being able to have surgery on June 1st. They felt I needed a stress test, fine time to force one on me, so no surgery til I have one. I have a 2 day stress test scheduled for June 3 and June 4th. They won't get the results til June 5th. So if all goes well with the testing I should be able to have surgery after that. When though...I don't know.

I've kind of been thrown for a loop with it all. I was prepared, doing so well on my preop liquid diet, had people to take care of me. Now everything is up in the air. I'm allowed to eat regular food again, which by the way made me very sick lol. I get to start that liquid diet all over again whenever they pick a new surgery date.

Everything happens for a reason though I guess. That's what I keep telling myself. At least they told me now and not when I was getting wheeled in for surgery.

I got the call from the surgeon's office. My blood work was fine, but I do have a UTI so as long as I finish the antibiotics by Sunday I should be good for surgery. I'm picking up the meds tonight! I hope they don't make me too sick though because I usually have to eat with antibiotics, but we'll see. I'll just have to suffer through if they do.

Liquid diet day #2 and I'm already sick of the carnation lol. I think the fact that I was getting so sick from the milk yesterday didn't help. I'm drinking lactaid today and doing a bit better. I can't wait to have chicken broth, jello, popsicles...so sad that those are what I'm craving, but at the same time it's good because I'm not caring about what people are eating in front of me. I'm very surprised by how I'm doing with this no eating thing. I'll be honest right now I'm starving, but I'm due for another shake so I'm sure I'll be better after that.

June 1st here I come!