Another Appointment Is Coming Up

Jan 28, 2011

Meeting my surgeon Monday to discuss my 2 week liquid diet, which I'm trying to get ready now.    I have not been dieting so I'm sure I either stayed the same or gained. 

I know Dr Fares has told me if I don't lose he won't do the surgery.  I've been battling my weight for over 19 years, so I whats going on, it's that self sabatoge that I normally do.   The surgery is coming up, you would think I would have it together.

W'ell as much as I sabatoge my efforts, there is something deep inside me that knows I need this surgery and need to step it up and do what's needed.  I know my body and I've lost 15lbs in 1 week, so losing the weight before surgery will not be a problem, but it's showing my Dr. as well as the insurance company I'm capable of losing weight.

I do scratch my head sometimes as why get the surgery if I can do this on my own.  I know the surgery is a tool and it's designed to help me.  It's not a quick fix, and if I don't use this tool right I can gain the wait back or not lose much at all.  I do not want to go through a life altering surgery just to turn around and say forget it.   I care about myself, just not enought to stop shoveling food in my mouth.  If someone ever says there is no such thing as food addiction, please steer me in their direction so I can whollop them upside their head.

Food addidiction is just as prevalent as drug/alchol addiction.   It's a battle I fought and lost for over 19 years and my fear is that all the over the counter diet pills, prescription diet pills, yo yo dieting I've done for all these years may have taken a toll on my body.  

I'm seconds away from this surgery, so I need to put my chin up and deal with this issue and finally win this battle.  I know my road ahead will not be easy, but I'm finally going to get this tool that I've seen so many people succeed with. 

My last words for this blog is to my body and soul.

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