Let's Go

Jan 14, 2011

 It has been awhile since I had anything to say. Needless to say I took a month off from Doctor  visits. Next week I will bring my letter to my primary for the final letter of recommendation. I believe that is all that is left with the exception of whatever reports are missing from the doctors. The last few days I had been taking the advice from some folks in the support group and started looking at the hundreds of YouTube videos on the various stages of pre-op and post-op surgery. It has given me a bit of hope and resurrected my faith and helped ti put me back on track. My biggest issue is eating ..having to eat on a time table, Ugh The excess skin that is freaking me out. I am sad that I am on this journey alone. Although my friends and family know they are noticeably silent on the subject. Out of all of us only one other person has had surgery(lap band). Raised by Southern women we didn't realize until it was almost to late that the weight would be an issue in our 40s and would affect us differently than it did our moms, aunts and grandmothers. My partner is so consumed with his own issues that sadly who won't even realize what I have done until he see the weight loss lol. Another story all together. :-) The Psych doctor had asked me what I was looking forward to after the surgery and I couldn't really answer because I had not thought of it. I always  thought I was pretty just big. Never had problems with making friends or BF but there was always that one issue. Fat. If I had to answer him I would say that I want to blend into the crowd. Sit comfy on the train, bus or plane without the annoying glances of folks contemplating whether to sit next to me and possibly suffer or stand and wish that they got to the seat before me. I'm done for now. it's 3am and my brain has just stopped..Peace :-)        

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