deniseselah
6 days post-op
May 12, 2014
This time last week I was ... calm! I was a TOTAL basket case the weekend before, but by Monday night a wonderful, not-of-this-world peace had settled over me. I remember driving to the hospital Tuesday morning, getting stuck in traffic, being called back to prep, and at some point I just started crying. My surgeon came out to say hi and reassure me and I didn't want him to see me cry. But that's Ok. It was a big day, a life-changing day.
Now I have had 6 days with the sleeve. I am so blessed to not have had much pain at all. I had an overnight stay and was home by 1p.m. Wed - that first 24 hours home was painful but after that things cleared up. The drain site is the only site that is just a little sore still.
The thought of food made me nauseous for days. It doesn't anymore, which is weird.
A couple of days ago, I realized that food is my main source of pleasure. And also, food is my main way of coping with pain and stress. That's a real problem.
I have done what I need to do to help myself physically when it comes to food. And now I need to use my resources (friends, therapy, other interests, and definitely prayer!!) to battle my emotional and mental connections to food.
Today I battled a lot of head hunger. I was in the house all day, with no real goals or aims, watching way too much TV. I was bored. I ate a lot of refried beans. I need a hobby, something to keep my hands busy. I connected with some other WLS friends via facebook, and took the dog for a walk this evening. That was good.
Reaching out is hard, but I have to. I can't do this alone. None of us can, and none of us have to.
I feel a little like I am in limbo. Everything is about to change - I have laid the groundwork for momentous change - but, nothing has changed yet. It's a strange place to be. But it is farther down the path than I was this time last week!! So I will be thankful for that - for the fact that things are starting to change even if I can't see them just yet.
