I haven't gone to sleep yet so it's still my surgiversary in my eyes.  One year later and WHAT A DIFFERENCE!  I will weigh in on Thursday but even accounting for the bad scale on the last weigh-in, according to my pcp's scale on the 25th, I was down 205 pounds in this first year.  I am sitting in my son's rec room upstairs (couldn't get here often before) relaxing with him after returning home from a 5 day trip to NY that I was able to do on my own without the wheelchair, a walker or even a cane.  I took the train and bus without concerns about fitting on the seat or through the aisle.  I sat at a booth at a restaurant while I was there and used a non-handicapped bathroom without concerns about fitting there, either.  I bought new boots TWO SIZES smaller than the shoes I wore before surgery and am wearing a skirt and shirt 10 sizes smaller.  I am sitting here with the laptop on my LAP---- I have one now, and a neck, too, for that matter!  You know, there are even slight protrusions that I understand are collar bones LOL.  I cannot believe the differences in my life and if you could only have walked in my shoes a year ago, you'd understand.  Very few people really understood the impact all that weight had on my quality of life, not just my health.

Oh, by the way, for ha-ha's, since I haven't taken one bit of insulin or diabetes meds since one week post-op I checked my bloodsugar while with my partner this weekend.  Fasting (am) reading?  101.

Thank you Dr. Barba for giving me my life back!

I am in a state of shock, actually.  I just got back from the gym where I weighed in for the first time in about 6 weeks.  I have been dealing with a lot of body image issues lately and this weigh in put everything into perspective again.  So here are the totals for 11 mos:

Starting weight:  492
Current weight:  265

Inches lost (waist, hips, thighs, chest):  66.5

Starting size:  46W
Current size:  26W

Meals are still a slight challenge and the ulcer still rears its ugly head often but there is no way I would reconsider having done this.  I still have a month to go and it's looking like losing 250 in the first year is a reality!  I have been looking into the cost of plastic surgery because my understanding is that medicare will only cover my stomach but it looks like I will be able to afford all but my chest if I carefully save for it.

After a few days in the hospital for dehydration and further testing, I finally found out today what's been causing my issues.  I do have an ulcer.  It is not perforated, though, so meds should fix it.  From what I have seen online, it's about a month for it to heal.  I'm down a lot more weight- total loss of 183 pounds now.  I am amazed with the progress and the changes in myself.  I had walked down the street to the store before the pain got too bad and hopefully I'll be back to that again soon.  I am down to a size 30/32 in Avenue and other "standard" plus sizes and have bought a few more things from Walmart.  I know from here, it will go fast and I'm excited- soon I'll be smaller than I was 20 years ago!  I've said goodbye to the 400 pound mark and I'm just 18 pounds from saying goodbye to the 300 mark.

I look in the mirror and barely recognize the person I see.  I have a neckline again and almost have a chin.  My stomach is shrinking as are my arms.  In some ways, I already look better than I did when I was this size before.  It's actually hard for me to buy new things because I don't think I am the size I am now.  I know that doesn't really make sense and it's hard to explain but I still see myself as almost 500 pounds.  Heck, that was me for a long, long time so it's not surprising it's taking a long time to get past seeing myself that way.

It's funny- before surgery, I dreaded getting on a scale, now I love it.  Before surgery, I hated to look in the mirror, now I look each time I pass one.  Despite the ulcer, I am so very glad I had this surgery and I am so thankful my surgeon did such a great job!

So the great fantastic wonderful news is that I am at the 6 mos point and officially down 150 pounds.  I can't believe it.  Typing this helps make it seem a little more real but it's a crazy thought- 150 pounds.  It puts me right on track for reaching my real goal weight. 

I've been dealing with what has all the markings of gall bladder problems- right upper quadrant pain, naseau, vomitting, heartburn, gas... but so far they have done an ultrasound and a HIDA scan and nothing has popped up.  They didn't do the CCK part of the HIDA scan so I'm getting that done and a CAT scan (couldn't do that a few months ago- I was too big!) and an endoscopy (to rule out an obstruction or ulcer) and hopefully when I go back to my surgeon in two weeks, we'll have some answers.  The lack of appetite is so bad at this point.  It's been only two weeks since I was in the office last and I lost 20 pounds.  Not minding the number, just the "method".

My surgeon is sure that when they do the CCK, they will find that the problem is my gall bladder.  He also mentioned that losing that much weight so fast is a shock to the system and it's possible there might be something else underlying.  I don't know, I'm just sick of living on pain medication, reglan, maalox, and nexium already.

One GREAT thing came from today's appointment- NO MORE CHEWABLES!  I can take regular vitamins.  If I don't have to taste them, you can be damned sure I'll be more compliant!!!

BTW- some other milemakers for the 6 mos point:
I fit in my driver side seat in my car- driving lessons next!
Down from a size 6x to 3x (roman's sizing... but I did buy one 5x JMS shirt at Walmart)
Down from a size 13W shoe to a size 12W
I can walk up and down stairs.
I can lie in the bathtub and get up :)  BATHTIME!
I don't need a scooter to go shopping!
I can tie my shoes and don't huff and puff just getting dressed :)
I ALMOST have a defined neck and chin :)

I'll add more as I think of them.

I weighed in today at my PCP's office and I am now down 105 pounds since starting the pre-op diet on 9/21.  AMAZING!!!!!  I FEEL AWESOME!!!!!