I had to copy my old journal, so..it's back!

Jul 26, 2010

Weight Loss Chart

7-31-2002--- 365
8-7-2002--- 349 (loss from 2 day liquid diet and bowel prep)
8-15-2002-- 340
8-23-2002-- 330
9-5-2002--  330 (arrg! again!)
9-13-2002-- 325 (yay!!)
9-25-2002-- 318 (-47)
9-30-2002-- 314
10-8-2002-- 312 (-53 in 2 months!)
10-14-2002--309
10-18-2002--307
10-21-2002--303 (-62)
10-28-2002--300 (-65)
11-1-2002--297
11-4-2002--295 (-70)
11-15-2002--293
11-19-2002--290 (-75)
11-27-2002--283
12-12-2002--279
12-17-2002--275 (-90!)
12-24-2002--275
1-02-2003-- 268 (-97)
1-08-2003-- 265 (-100!!)
1-24-2003-- 263
1-29-2003-- 259
2-4-2003--  255 (-110)
2-11-2003-- 253
2-27-2003-- 249
3-14-2003-- 246
3-18-2003-- 245
3-31-2003-- 242
4-7-2003--  239
4-22-2003-- 236
6-5-2003--  223
6-25-2003-- 220
7-29-2003-- 217 (-148)
9-11-2003-- 212
10-21-2003--203
10-29-2003--208
11-6-2003-- 205
11-11-2003--203 (-162)
11-21-2003--200 (-165)
12-28-2003--198 (woo hoo finally my weight starts with a 1!!)
3-23-2004-- 190
8-02-2004-- 190
7-25-2006-- 174 (-191)

*if you would like to contact me on yahoo messanger, my id is rubyrosie3*

1-27-02
I am 20 years old and have been getting more and more overweight since I hit puberty (11 yrs old). It sucks, it's getting worse, and I feel like I am a senior citizen. My knees and my back hurt all the time. My clothes are getting tighter by the minute. I don't have fun when I go places because I feel like people are noticing how fat I am. My mom is overweight and has diabetes and she is in crappy shape. She has to take like 15 pills a day for all of these different problems she has, and I know that if I don't do something drastic now I will turn out living the way she does. So...it is time for me to have surgery. Grrr I called last week to get an appointment with Dr. Ikramuddin (sp?) at Fairview Hospital in Minneapolis, and I can't get in for the FIRST appt. until APRIL 18th! I hate waiting!! I already went to the shrink and got my consult done and he says I am okey dokey
so at least that is out of the way!   

5-10-2002

Well I had the consultation with Dr. Ikramuddin. He rules! On the way over to his office I met a girl that had the surgery done a few months ago and she looked great! I called Dr. Ikramuddin's office to tell them to fax my insurance company for pre-approval on 4-19 and I am still waiting! I am getting worried but I will wait some more I guess...also somehow I lost 2 pounds...probably from stress!! :o)

5-21-2002

After waiting for what seemed like FOREVER (about a month)...I am approved! I think...I called the insurance today and they said I was approved, but I am convinced that they are gonna call back and say that they made a mistake and I am not approved! But I called Dr. Ikramuddin's office and they gave me a date of August 7th!! YAY!!! The only thing I am scared of is having the endoscopy test done. The thought of them sticking a tube down my throat while I am awake freaks me out! The thought of the actual surgery doesn't scare me really. I am happy with the date I was given because my 21st birthday is on May 29th...I need time to drink and be merry! If ya know what I mean! :o)

6-14-2002

I was in Las Vegas last week and gorged on all the buffets...I think I am still full. Everytime I eat too much and I get that sick feeling I think to myself, "Will I really miss all this food?" and everytime the answer is NO. I am however, struggling with quitting smoking. I just finished my last pack and I want to buy another one. But I try to remind myself that it will just make my recovery harder.

6-25-2002

Well I had my last cig on Friday. I am not even having urges to smoke today. It's weird, but nice! I went to the doc today and I gained like 25 pounds since April!! Nooo! Obviously it is time for me to stop eating all my last suppers and shape up! No more pop tarts for me! :o)

7-3-2002

Well for about 2 days I ate half way decently. But as usual, I went back to eating crap. So I decided that I can eat crap until July 7th (one month till surgery!) then I have to crack down and try to lose SOME weight before surgery. Even if it's like 5 pounds. Then I will be happy. I just got the packet of information from the surgeon and I DREAD the bowel prep! Ick! But getting the packet made everything real! So now I am really excited! yay! oh yeah, and I never did need to have the dreaded endoscopy done. I was surprised, but they said I really didn't need it.

7-8-2002

Less than one month from surgery! eek! I am now working on not drinking caffiene. It actually isn't that hard...I am also trying not to eat crap AGAIN. So far it has been ok, but I just started today! I can't believe it is only one month away! eek! again!

7-15-2002

The only pre-op test I still have to have is my bloodwork and UA and I am DONE. Thank god I am so tired of being at the doctors office every week! I have also recently noticed that I am a total emotional eater. I am angry with my supervisors right now, and I want to eat a big fat...something. I dunno what but I want to eat it! I had a "crap eating relapse" and my mom saw me eating a burger from Wendy's, and she made a rude comment like "I thought you were going to try to lose weight before surgery. Yah I am sure that you are ONLY going to eat 2 ounces after surgery. I can just see how this is gonna go." I just said "um, AFTER surgery I HAVE to eat only 2 ounces or I will puke, so I don't really have an option to eat more then my stomach will hold." I dunno, it just turned into a big fight. I won't go into it. But I bought some weight watchers dinners (yuck) and I NEED TO LOSE SOME WEIGHT. Wish me luck plllllease! :o)

7-19-2002

Ok..they keep giving us candy at work and it is not helping me! I am sooo convinced that I weigh 400 pounds that I don't want to get on the scale!! I was 361 in April when I went in for my consult, then when I went to the doc 3 weeks ago I was 388. Now I am 99% sure that I have gained some more weight. I was thinking about what I would like to weigh. I am 5' 11" so my ideal weight is like 160 or something, but I think I would look anorexic at that weight. So I was gonna shoot for 200, but I think it would be nice to have my weight start with a 1, so I am actually shooting for 190 :o) heehee! It is soo nice to even have a small glimmer of hope that I could ACTUALLY weigh that. I am trying to be patient, but 3 weeks seems like such a long time! ahhh!

7-27-2002

The day is getting clooooser! I went to a wedding reception today for this guy that I work with. It was kind of depressing. I wore a skirt for once (I never wear skirts!) and I was soo uncomfortable. All the "skinny" girls from my work came in and they looked so much better than me. Of course, the guys that I work with gravitated towards them and left me and my other "roly-poly" friend by ourselves. That SURE WAS PLEASANT! Then when I got home, another one of my friends from high school called and said SHE was getting married. The last time I saw her she was MO I don't know if she still is, but I think so. All of my friends are getting married or having kids. Jeez...I feel like I am odd or weird or something. I don't have a husband (or even a boyfriend!), I don't have a baby, I don't have my own house/apt., I don't go to college...It makes me feel like I am not doing what I should be doing with my life. But anyway! Ya know, if someone would have told me 5 years ago that when I was 21 I would be having gastric bypass surgery, I would have told them they were nuts. When I first heard about it I was like "jeez you'd have to be REALLY FAT to need that." Well shame on me, here I am. LOL!!

8-1-2002

Eeeeeek! 6 days till surgery! I have FABULOUS news. Apparently my doctor did not weigh me correctly the last time I was in, and I DO NOT weigh 388! I weigh 365! yay!! I know.. I know...not exactly a GREAT weight, but it's a lot better then 388! I went to my doctor yesterday, and I went to the surgeon today for my pre-ops. I am totally exhausted. I will tell you about my surgeon visit first. I had to wait in the lobby 3 hours to see Donna (the head nurse for Dr. I)!! I wasn't very happy about it, but what can ya do, right? They also lost my approval letter from my shrink so I need to call and see if they still have it on file. (They better have it, or heads will roll!) So then they went over the bowel prep and how I need to wash with the special soap and all that great stuff. Then I found out that I might wake up with the NG tube in. BLAH...double BLAH! The nurse was like "You probably won't be very happy about that." LOL I was like "uh, no duh!" But it's ok...I'll live. Then yesterday I went to see my PCP and he was (as always) soooo nice! He looked at me and he said "In about a year you will have lost about 100 pounds and you will be a very beautiful person." and I was like "awwww" lol But I am sooo excited now! I am also very worn out and I want it to be over!!!!!

8-2-2002

Ok two posts in two days! Oh well. Today is my last day at work cuz I have to be on a liquid diet for two days starting Monday, and there is no way I am gonna come to work subsisting on liquids! eew! People are being so nice to me here at work! Two of my friends gave me a card, one of my other friends said that "just in case I die (lol nice, I know..) she wants me to know that she loves me and she feels privleged to have known me" a little weird, I know, but still I had to go "awww!" Then this guy was like "so why are you having surgery?" and I just pinched my fat and he said "What? I don't think you are that fat!" I was like "uhh..thanks, but I was showing you why I am having surgery" Then I proceeded to turn bright red cuz he complemented me. lol I hate that!!! Anyway, I called the shrinks office today so I could get my psych letter sent over to Donna, and I also talked to my PCP's office and they said that they would fax over my gallbladder ultrasound to Donna. So I hope that this is the last time I need to deal with that. Other then that, I am all set to go! Tonight my friends and I are going over to TGI Fridays, and I am gonna have a Ultimate Mudslide, and eat crap! lol sounds fun huh? :o) woooo partay!

8-16-2002

I am hooooome! Actually, I came home on Friday August 9th, but I haven't been able to get down the stairs safely to update. (our computer is in the basement.) Well, I think the bowel prep might have been the worst of it all. I was suppose to drink the Fleet Phospho Soda down twice, but on the second time around I was gagging and it was just awful! So I only drank it once but everything was ok(Do not do this at home, this was just me). So anyway, I arrived at the hospital at 6:00 am on August 7th. Then they weighed me, and to my suprise, I weighed 349! So I had lost 16 pounds on the liquid diet and bowel prep alone! After that everything went sooo fast. They had me put the gown on, then they put the IV in, then they gave me some stuff that tasted like Sweetarts to neutralize the acid in my stomach. Then Dr. Ikramuddin came in and asked if I had any questions. I asked him if I was going to be proximal or distal, and he told me he bypasses 150cm so I will be considered proximal. Then the nurse told me they they were going to give me the "happy juice" and I said, "yay!!" So they shot it in my IV and I remember that I was in mid-laugh and all of a sudden I was like "duh? huh?" I was TOTALLY out of it. heehee! Then at 7:40, I waved at my parents, and the nurses rolled me off to the OR. The only thing I remember about the OR was the nurse pressing the oxygen mask super hard on my face and saying "take deep breaths of the oxygen" and I wanted to say, "you can't fool me, I know that ain't oxygen!" Then it seemed like I blinked, and then I woke up to someone telling me "breathe Rosie breathe" and I had the ng tube in. I think my arms were strapped down too. I know that this sounds scary, but I have like a split second memory of it so it wasn't too bad. Then I must have dozed off and then I woke up to them take out my ng tube. I coughed a couple times, but that was it. Then Dr. Ikramuddin said that everything went perfectly and I did not lose one drop of blood. The next 2 days I was in the hospital. I had a catheter in on Wed and part of Thurs. It was nice to have because then I didn't have to get up. The nursing staff was ok..sometimes they made me really angry. One night like at 2 am I had to pee SO BAD (after my catheter was out) and I paged the nurse, and they didn't come for at least 10 min! I almost peed right there in the bed. The day after surgery I wanted to get up and walk so I paged the nurse to come help me, and they didn't come for like 15 min, then when he got there he sat me up in bed...and LEFT! I was like uhhhh..who is gonna help me?! Then I couldn't reach the pager thing, so I had to have my roomate page for me. I was soooooo mad! Then there was the Upper GI experience....I get rolled up to the room, and they are like "Ok stand up." and they were far away from me and I was like "um, I will as soon as someone helps me!" Then the dude picks up my catheter bag and just DROPS it on the floor, therefore the tube was pulling on my you-know-what! I gave him a dirty look and said "OW!!" Then they give me a cup of brown yuck, and tell me that I need to drink some. So I take a small sip, and they said "NO, you NEED to GULP it." and I stared at them and I said "Uh, OK I just had gastric bypass YESTERDAY and you want me to GULP?! I don't think so" Then they gave ME a dirty look. heehee it wasn't a good experience, but I didn't have a leak so it was ok. They brought me a breakfast tray that same day, and everything on it was NOT sugar free!! I was like "I am supposed to eat this?!" and I took the smallest bite of some Jello and I almost puked. It tasted like pure sugar. Then I just sat and stared at the tray until the nurse was like "ok I will just give you a popsicle" AGAIN, NOT sugar free, but I could manage it, so I ate half. The rest of my stay was uneventful. I went home on Friday with my JP drain in. I HATED THE DRAIN! It was just a nuisance. I slept a lot and drank a lot of water and ate sugar-free popsicles. I was pretty drowsy all the time when I first got home, but it got better everyday. I went to the surgeon yesterday, and I have already lost 25 pounds! Which means I weigh 340! heehee Dr. Ikramuddin said I was a star. heehee I also got my drain out (thank GOD). Dr. I cleared me to go on to the pureed foods. I went home and had a 1/2 of cottage cheese and that took me about an hour to eat. I was being overly concious though. Then I had Carnation Instant Breakfast for dinner (that's why they call it instant BREAKFAST right?). I had no problems at all. YAY! But this post is way to long already so I am gonna go. Bye bye for now!

8-23-2002

I have lost 35 pounds! My drain site looks like it may be infected. It was really red before, but now it just has pus in it (gross I know). I am debating if I need to call the surgeon or not. Other than that everything else is great. I feel so much better then I did before surgery. My outlook on life is a lot more positive now, because I know that my life will be somewhat better now. My clothes are a little looser, but I want to go down a size so I can go shopping! I wanna go now!! :o) I am eating cottage cheese for breakfast everyday, and I have been eating scrambled eggs and mushed up tuna, and I have not puked at all! yay!

8-30-2002

Ok yes, my drain site was infected and I have to take antibiotics now, but it looks like it is  healing nicely. Eggs are giving me a problem now. I ate a scrambled egg the other day and all of a sudden I felt sick and I had that whole mucousy ickyness that others have talked about. I KNOW that I ate it slow and I KNOW that I chewed well. Oh well. My parents are driving me crazy! My dad asks me everyday "Are you still walking on the treadmill?" He just assumes that I don't. I told him to stop bugging me about it but he doesn't stop. Then my mom keeps saying that I need to eat more. She doesn't understand that the small amount that I am eating is what I am SUPPOSE to eat. She is worried that I am going to "waste away". RIGHT. I am gonna waste away at 330 pounds? LOL. Anyway, like I noted before I am STILL at 330 pounds. I think this is my first plateau. I am still in a size 28. The good news is that before surgery I could only wear the stretch jeans from Lane Giant, and now when I put them on they are pretty baggy! AND I can actually zip up the regular non-stretch size 28 jeans I have! They are a little tight but still! yay!!! People say that my face is a lot smaller and my "top roll" (lol) is smaller. So that's all good news. I am soooo sick of being home! I can't go back to work until I have a form filled out by the surgeon saying that I am ok. I plan on getting that next Thurs. for my 4 week checkup, and then I go back to work on the 9th! Thank god! I never thought that I would be happy to go back to work but I am!

9-5-2002

I am still 330. Someone wants me to go loony, right? On a good note though, I saw the surgeon today and he said that losing 35 pounds in a month is excellent and most people lose around 27 pounds the first month. So I am trying to be positive. I threw up for the first time yesterday, ick! In a non-thinking moment I had, I rolled up a piece of turkey with a piece of cheese and then I ate it without chewing it well. Sooo..about 2 minutes after I took the first bite my stomach started to hurt. About 2 minutes later, I stared to get the mucous in the back of my throat. Then about 2 minutes after that, I could feel the food start to come back up in my throat, and that was it. While it was not a pleasant experience, I will say that it is much easier throwing up now then it was pre-op. It is not as traumatic. Anyway, I have been cleared to eat solids now, so when I got home today I ate a small (and well chewed) piece of meatloaf, and it tastes better now then pre-op! Anyway, I hope I am off the damn plateau soon!

9-13-2002

Finally...I am losing again! I am worried about my water intake because I KNOW that I am not drinking enough, but it is so hard! I almost wish that I had hunger pains too. I try to eat every 6 hours but sometimes I just want to puke thinking about eating. The reason why I wish I had hunger pains is so I would know when I should eat instead of making myself eat. It is irritating!

9-25-2002

I weigh 318! yay! I am still scared to drink my water any faster then I am. I am beginning to get bored with my food I am eating too. But I am scared to try anything else! I am just a big scaredy cat I guess. I think my hair is falling out too! nooo! A problem I am having is that when I am sleeping, my mouth dries out so bad that my tongue hurts! I am sure that it has something to do with my water intake, but it is a big nuisance. Other than that, everything is grrrreat! :o)

10-3-2002

OMG I HAD to post! Yesterday I was going out to move my car, and it was kind of cold out so I threw on my winter jacket, and when I put it on, it was huge! Last winter I could BARELY button it, and now I can button it with lots of extra room! yay!! I also have bought a pair of 26 jeans...non stretch! I have lost 50-51 pounds now, in less than 2 months! I haven't thrown up anymore either. My pouch is much more accepting to new foods too. I was reading some people's profiles on AMOS, and some people have had such a hard time with trying to get approved, or they are having a lot of complications, and it just makes me feel really lucky that I haven't had any major problems (knocks on wood). I am still having problems with my water and protein though. I don't get major dehydration or anything, but my urine is smelly and dark green/yellow (ick, i know), and I don't like it. As far as protein goes, I think the protein drinks are the nastiest creations on earth. I like to eat the Atkins bars, but they are kind of high in fat. I am eating pintos and cheese from Taco Bell and chili from Wendy's, but it gets old after awhile. So if anyone is reading this and has suggestions, email me please! Thanks :o)

10-8-2002

I am now 2 months post-op, and I am down 53 pounds! yay! My size 26 jeans are still kinda tight, but I am just happy that I can zip them up! I was on a teeny plateau this past week, I was wavering between 314 and 315 for about 3-4 days, then I got on the scale today, and I weigh 312! I can't wait to be under 300! I don't remember ever weighing under that! I must have been 13 or something... :o)

10-10-2002

Ok nevermind what my weight was on that last post. I have my period for the first time since surgery, and it sucks, because now I am back up to 315 lbs. At first I spazed out and thought "oh my god I am gaining weight! noooo!" Then I came on AMOS and searched the library and found that weight gain during your period is almost expected. It usually is just water retention so the pounds drop right off in a few days. So I feel a little better now. I am also trying to remember that I only gained 3 pounds. Not 10, not 20. I need to chill!! :o)

10-14-2002

I got on the scale this morning...I weigh 309! I also can fit in size 24 pants! yay! :o)

10-18-2002

307...I am frustrated. I have now had my "time of the month" for like 2 weeks now. I can't tell if that is the reason I am barely losing or what. I haven't been exercising so I know that that could be the problem but I dunno. But I have a 2nd job now! I went back to where I worked when I was 14. It's a pizza/hoagy place called Davannis, and it involves a lot of running around and sweating (lol), but at least I'll get some exercise and some extra $$$! I am happy that now I can have a job where I have to stand for hours. My full time job is customer service so I sit all day looooong...it gets reeeally boring, and it doesn't really help my weight loss. But that was the only option I had when I weighed 365 and could barely stand for an hour without my feet killing me!

10-23-2002

I weigh 302. It sure is frustrating when you get used to the scale moving down everyday and then all of a sudden it doesn't move...and then all of a sudden you lose 4 pounds...weird!! But I try to remember that I still have lost 63 pounds since August. I just want to get under 300! That's all I want! I saw my PCP today and the last time he saw me was at the end of August, and he was like "whoa! you look so different!" and I was like "yay!!" Then he said that I should do situps or jog or something so I don't get a lot of loose skin, then all of a sudden he's like "Don't get pregnant yet, ok?" and I said "um that's NOT gonna happen." For one, I keep the gates shut (if you know what I mean) and I don't exactly have a line of guys that want to father my children (yet)! LOL

10-28-2002

ONE more pound and I am under 300! yay! On a sad note, I have started smoking again. Dammit dammit dammit! Only 2 a day unless it's on weekends...then I smoke more. Dammit again! I feel so stupid. I have been having a rough time in my personal life and I don't know how to deal with it, so I smoke. I don't know what else to do...maybe it's time for counseling!

11-2-2002

I weigh 297! whoo!! I quit Davannis after one night. I just can't handle working with teenagers that act stupid. But I was able to stand for 4-5 hours! I sure am sore today though...ouch! I won an award at my job today. Yay! My coworkers keep raving about how much weight I have lost and it makes me blush. LOL But today is a good day. :o)

11-4-2002

OMG...I have my period right now and I want someone to kill me! These cramps are the worst on earth! arrg! AND I am bleeding so badly that I HAVE to wear an overnight pad or else I would be changing it every hour! ICK! I have read that after-surgery periods are horrendous because of our hormones going wacky. I hope it gets better soon! I saw Dr. Ikramuddin yesterday and he told me I was a star and that I look great. yay! He also said that I am way ahead of schedule on my weight loss. Of course, I made the mistake of weighing when I have my period and the scale said 300. Yeow I have gained 5 pounds from bloating. icky :o( heehee

11-15-2002

I weigh 293! woo! My period stopped finally. yay! My skin is going crazy though. Everyday I wake up with a new zit. ish! But I can wear size 24 jeans. Yay!

11-25-2002

I weigh 285! I have lost 80 pounds now, and it is sooo weird..I can feel my hip bones! lol I went to a movie for the first time since surgery, and I was so used to being squished in the seat that when I sat down and had extra room, I had to stand back up and look at the seat, then sit down again. LOL I wear a size 24, almost a 22! It is hard getting used to, but it's nice!

11-27-2002

Ok I am getting annoyed. I feel like my friendships are going to crap. My "fat" friends are threatened by me because now I am smaller than them and it makes them feel bad or something...but the "skinny" people don't want me around either. So I guess I am too skinny for the fat, and too fat for the skinny. I think that is ridiculous. Why should it matter what I look like? Overall I am the same person. Whatever. Anyway, I finally got my drivers license that I renewed in MAY (long story) and when I look at my picture I am like "omg! I had such a fat face!" Now it makes me want to go get a new picture. I have my weight at 250 on there...only 32 more pounds to go! lol

12-13-2002

I weigh 277! :::big grin:: but now I can't find clothes to fit me right. It's always something!! Things are always too big in the legs and butt, and too small in the hips. Whenever I tell people that they say "oh what a horrible problem" all sarcastic. In reality, it IS a problem because I look like crap with my clothes hanging off of me. Only 12 more pounds to go before I am -100! woo! :o)

12-24-02

:::scowls::: I still weigh 275! I am trying not to be upset, but I will admit I am a little worried that my loss is stopping...no! I am not gonna worry! I'll worry AFTER christmas! I have been eating some candy, so that might be why I'm not losing...Or I just have a totally normal plateau..I dunno! I am in a size 22 now though and that makes me happy!!

12-27-2002

Ok...I weigh 277!! What the heck! I am thinking it may just be water retention because a couple days ago I weighed 273, and I am due for my period soon...it still is discouraging!

1-02-2003

What a nice way to start the new year! I weigh 268! I finally lost the gross water weight. Only 18 more pounds till I weigh what it says on my drivers license! I see a lot of posts where people say that they can't see their weight loss and I felt that way too, then yesterday I was at the store and I walked in front of one of those camcorder displays, and I didn't recognize myself on the tv, and I was like "whoa I DO look a lot different!!" heehee!!

1-8-2003

I weigh 265, which means I have lost 100 pounds! yay! I was reading one of my old pre-op posts, and I noticed that my PCP said I would lose 100 pounds in a year...lol try 5 months!

1-13-2003

I am still 265 :::rolls my eyes::: But I have my period so no worries. My family went to Timber Lodge Steakhouse yesterday, and I never realized HOW MUCH FOOD they give you. Geez! I ordered this Prairie Chicken thing, and it comes with soup and potato, bread, then obviously you get the huge piece of chicken too. Of course I was able to eat less than 1/2 the soup, a bit of the chicken, a bit of potato, and a couple bites of the dessert. I had to take almost the whole meal home. Oh well!! :o)

1-21-2003

STILL 265. dammit! Oh well. I have really only had one plateau since surgery, so I guess I am due. I think I am losing inches though, cuz I can fit into size 20 jeans now. So hopefully I will start losing again soon.

1-24-2003

OK...I THINK I HAVE LOST WEIGHT! My scale said 263 today, let's hope it keeps goin down! :o)

2-3-2003

I now weigh 258. My best friend hadn't seen me in awhile and she said I am skinny. I don't believe her. lol

2-6-2003

I weigh 255 now, but I am totally off track with my eating. I keep eating candy!!! ahhhh! I work in a call center so everyone always has candy on their desk, and I keep eating it! I also haven't been exercising like I should be. I have decided that I am getting back on track NOW. I am NOT gonna eat candy, and I am NOT gonna smoke anymore!

2-14-2003

I went to see the surgeon yesterday, and he seemed very concerned that I had heartburn. He said that I am at risk for an ulcer and I need to "take it easy". I work in customer service! I can't take it easy! heehee But I think that I need to go part time because I have been *VERY* stressed out lately. My blood pressure was only 104/55, which would explain my dizziness. They are starting me on some anti-acid meds, along with B12. Also, on their scale I weighed 258. On my scale I weigh 255, so I am going with my scale. lol I have bought a pair of size 18 jeans too! woo hoo! :o)

2-27-2003

My mom passed away suddenly on the 17th. As you can imagine, it is a horrible thing to deal with. At the wake and the funeral I saw a lot of relatives that hadn't seen me in a long time, and they kept asking me about my weight loss and blah blah blah, and I was like "Who CARES about my weight? I don't have a MOTHER ANYMORE"

3-7-2003

Well, we finally know what killed my mom. She had broken her leg in the beginning of Feb., and she had been in one of those care homes for about 2 weeks. The insurance wouldn't pay for her to be in there anymore, so they sent her home so we could take care of her. She was MO with frozen shoulders, so she could barely move at all. She layed in bed for over 2 weeks straight. So, on 2/15, she started to feel really bloated and she complained that she couldn't breathe that well. We thought it was just because she was laying down or had gas or SOMETHING..On 2/16 she felt great in the morning, but by that night she felt horrible again and I made her call the doctor. The ambulance had to come to get her out of the house, and that was the last time I saw her alive. My dad went with her and said that the doctors thought she was constipated, and tried to discharge her that night. My mom demanded to stay, saying that she "just didn't feel right", so they kept her overnight. On 2/17 my dad went to see her in the morning and said that my mom didn't feel like talking much, she just told my dad to go home because he looked tired. About an hour later the hospital called and said that my mom "took a turn for the worse" and that he needed to come down there asap. She had already died when they called him. She had a massive blood clot in her lungs, and her heart just stopped. The hospital staff worked on her for over 30 minutes, but her body was just too weak to fight. When she first came home they had told her to do exercizes as often as she could, but she didn't do what she was suppose to do. When they did her autopsy, they also found that her arteries were kind of plugged up with cholestoral, as was her liver. She was only 55. I have two reasons for putting her story on this website. When you have surgery, and they tell you to walk or do leg exercises, DO IT. If you are considering having WLS, but are scared...look what happened to my mom. She didn't get the chance to have WLS, because her morbid obesity got her first. On her death certificate it says Cause of death: Pulmonary Embolism (blood clot). Contributing factors: Morbid Obesity, High Blood Pressure, Diabetes Mellitus, High Cholesterol. My mom weighed about 385, (she was 5' 10") and I KNOW that if my mom would have been 100 pounds lighter this never would have happened. So if you are considering WLS, PLEASE take this into consideration.

3-18-2003

I am totally stuck at 245. I keep gaining 2 pounds, then losing it, then gaining it, then losing it. I am frustrated! But, I know it's my fault. I have been eating a lot more because I am stressed and depresssed, and I am not exercising. I have started counseling though, so hopefully I can get back on track! I still have 50 pounds to go till my personal goal of 190. Geez that seems like a lot!

3-31-2003

I have FINALLY lost weight!! 242!!

4-7-2003

I had to go to ANOTHER funeral this weekend. A really nice guy I worked with was shot and killed by this girl's jealous boyfriend. How stupid some people are. On a lighter note, I now weigh 239.

6-5-2003

Omg!! I couldn't get this website to work for me for the longest time...But now it works!! I am down to 223!

6-25-2003

220...I am now only in the "overweight" catagory!!! heehee!!! I also take a size 14/16 jeans and an XL shirt!! I have been having experiences that I have never thought i'd have. I know that this is talked about sometimes on here, but here is what has been happening. When I weighed 365, I got hit on MAYBE once every couple months. Now, I get hit on like twice a week. hehehe it's VERY weird, and I dunno how to handle it. I have also been getting a lot of UNWANTED attention from men. Because I was so big for so long, whenever a guy compliments me or whatever, I think that they are joking...cuz I am so not used to it. So, they might say something sexual towards me, and I think they are joking, so I laugh, cuz in my head i'm like why would they want me i'm fat, and I think they take that as a "green light" to do what they want, and then I have to fend them off. I try to tell people that haven't had surgery about this, and they just don't get it!! hehehe

9-11-2003

Ok, so I have only lost 5 pounds in 2 months. But 5 pounds is 5 pounds!!! :o)

10-29-2003

Hey! Somehow I gained 5 pounds in like, 2 days...I am assuming it is water weight, but I have never gained that much. I want to get under 200 dammit! heehee So right now I weigh 208, I take size 14/16 jeans, and XL shirts. I am considering plastic surgery even more these days..my clothes aren't fitting all that well because I have a lot of excess skin around my middle. I am kinda scared to do it, but I suppose it couldn't hurt to go in for a consultation. At the same time, I figure that I went through with so much other crap that I deserve to look the best I can!!
My best friend Jessica had her Open RNY with Dr. Rupp on the 28th, she is doing really good so far.

11-6-2003
SO..I need plastic surgery. Yesterday I was shopping, I tried on a pair of size 14 jeans at Lane Bryant and they were too big! I am actually too small for Lane Bryant! I can't believe it. Then I went to Kohl's and I fit into a pair of size 13 jeans in juniors..very weird (but nice!) indeed, they looked good, but they were super low rise, which means my skin hung over the top of the jeans, so I didn't buy them. Makes me wonder what size I would be if the extra skin wasn't there at all??

11-21-2003
WEEE HA...I weigh 200..I have lost 165 lbs. Pretty soon my weight will start with a 1!!! LOL a lady I work with today came up to me and said "Rosie, how much weight have you lost? 50 some pounds??" and I just stared at her and said "no, 165 pounds." She just stood there with her mouth open, and then she walked away exclaiming "165 pounds!! Can you believe it!!! 165 pounds!!" LOL She probably weighs about 100 pounds so I suppose 50 pounds to her is a huge load of weight. I bust out laughing at her expression. It was great. Other than that, I have been feeling kind of blah lately, and my sister says I look blah..like i'm rundown or something. I feel that way too, not sure what thats all about. I can't even go to the doc because I don't have health insurance!! I quit my job, then came back a month later, and I was suppose to have insurance again Nov. 1st, but that didn't happen!! Frustrating!!!

12-28-2003
I guess I have reached goal, all I wanted was my weight to start with a 1, and now it does (198). Yaaay! So any loss after this is just for fun lol I really could lose about 15 more pounds, but then I think I might be too skinny, I'm not sure.

1-27-2004
I still weigh the same, i'm realizing that I could stand to lose another 20-25 pounds, it's so hard to tell. I really don't know what my body looks like, you know what I mean? I have to point someone out and ask people "Does my body look like theirs?" I also can't tell if this junk hanging around my stomach is skin or fat. I am still going back and forth on the whole plastic surgery decision. Sometimes I say to myself "I am happy with the body I have" and then I'll be out somewhere and i'll see someone with a flat stomach and I realize just how much I want that, and I am not convinced that I can do it just by exercising. I was laying in bed this morning and I felt where my hip bones are..then I felt the excess fat/skin that was around it. It was kinda icky. I would be what I consider the perfect size (about a size 8-10) if I had that junk taken off. THEN I worry that once I have that stuff taken care of, I will continually find things that I want to change. Lol I can't win.
I am in a size 14-16 still, I have been there for awhile. It gets frustrating because I still can't walk into any store that I see and shop there. Not to mention that 14-16 is usually still considered "plus-size" (whatever.) Shirts are usually too short and cling to my "innertube" and the pants are tight in the hips, and big in the legs. *sigh*

3-23-2004
Holy crap, I weigh 190. ALMOST out of size 14

8-02-2004
Ok, I have been bad and not updating. I still weigh 190, but I really am ok with it. I go to my plastic surgery consultation in two days...I'm excited!! I need a tummy tuck for SURE..I could stand to have my arms done, but I don't have enough money for that, and it scares me. I am in a size 12/14, and I still wear an XL shirt, but that is only because of my extra skin. No need for me to be flashing that gross stuff to people. LOL
As far as my eating goes, I noticed I can eat a bit more than usual, but I know it's normal...I mean, god. It's been almost TWO YEARS. Thats SO weird. I really can't believe it sometimes. I plan on gettin some pics up here soon!

10-21-2004
Grrr. No plastic surgery for me at the moment. It was suggested by the PS that I have a belt lift instead of just a tummy tuck, because it would take care of my major problem area. The cost would have been about $12000. My dad said that he would have given me the money to have it done, but then I got in some bad credit card debt so the money went to that instead. Frustrating, but my fault. But what can ya do?

7-25-2006
So yeah, I suck at updating. I weigh 174, I have no clue how I lost more weight after 2 years!! lol my labs are all good except for B-12....time to get the shots I guess. I still need counseling for mental stuff, but I'm getting there. I am also trying to figure out how to put pics on here, but I'm too lazy at the moment.

7-26-10
LOL posting 4 years later almost exactly!!
I weigh 205, but hey, I'm also 29 now, give me a break here! I recently have been diagnosed as having ADHD. I was put on Adderall, which is really helping my concentration (that's why my profile is now back), but I am losing weight too, which is an added bonus! It's very weird that it has almost been 8 years since I had surgery!

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