My weight problem started out when I was just hitting puberty; I was about nine when I started to become bigger than the other girls.  I was always an active kid and loved swimming. I swam competitively since I was 7.   I remember seeing my fourth grade teacher the summer before I started 6^th grade. She slipped up and said, “Oh my, you have gotten so fat…uh, I mean big.” Ouch.  That summer I remember getting on the scale and it being 130lbs.  By the time that I returned to start 6^th grade I had lost weight and was in a women’s size 4.  Probably the smallest I have ever been. I swam my butt off that summer and really tried to eat less.  That weight loss was short lived.   I was doomed to be the bigger (and taller) girl in school. I also had a best friend who was also on the heavier side. Her mother made it a sport to compare us constantly.  She was a very competitive woman. She would always make little comments about my weight when given the opportunity. She would give me clothes and proclaim, “These are waaay too big for my daughter, but I’m sure they will fit you!!”  

           I did not swim for the two summers after 6^th grade.  I was no stranger to diets by the time I was in HS. I joined the HS swim team and my sophomore year I got down to a size 9, for a short amount of time.  But for most of my time in HS I was a size 11-14 (180-195lbs).  But even when I was a size 9 I still felt fat being surrounded by girls who wore a size 2 or 0’s.  My senior year I was in a model search for plus size models.  It really helped me feel better about myself. I was told that plus size modeling was the next big thing. The average woman was a size 12 and that more people wanted to see “real” women.  Well THAT never happened, instead, the straight size models (the skinny ones) went from size 6’s too size 0’s. 

              When I was 20 I did the Atkins diet, the first time I tried it, it worked REALLY well. I lost 20lbs and got down to 170. Then, I started taking the Depo-Provera shot and during that year, I gained 60lbs. This was while working as a lifeguard, teaching life guarding and teaching aqua aerobics, and doing the Atkins diet (not working too well this time).  I went to the Dr. and was told that I needed to eat less and exercise more, and that it was not because of the shot. Later they did find that other people gained a lot of weight from this shot, but it was still fairly new then.  So I refused to take any kind of birth control and tried to diet and exercise more.  I was taking on so many aqua aerobics classes that I was at the point that I was overtraining and losing muscle.  Well, because I was not on birth control I did eventually become pregnant with my first child.  I had a high risk pregnancy (pre-eclampsia) with her and my other two children.  I gained 40lbs from my first pregnancy and it took me two years of diet and exercise (I also breast fed her) to lose 30lbs. I started to look into weight loss surgery.  Then I became pregnant with my second child.  I gained back the weight I lost; after I had my second child I had an IUD for birth control.  I found out I was pregnant for the third time when my second baby was 5 months old.  My youngest child is now 2 years old.  Since his birth I have been gaining and losing the same 25lbs.  It is hard dealing with people pretending you are not there, or saying mean things (loud enough to hear) about you.