Why do I try?

Apr 17, 2010

Its been 3 weeks since I realized I was not going to be having the surgery.  At least not now.  I was heart broken and yet a little relieved.   I guess it's because I was so frightened to have the procedure that on my most basic level, I was okay with the answer God gave me.  

My husband was okay with me having the surgery as long as I tried something else first - assistance through medications and modified eating.  His point being that if I could manage to adjust my eating habits it would be easier on me after the procedure.    I've lost 9lbs using no medications.

I dont know if I'll lose any weight.   I dont know if I'll be fat forever.   I just know I dont like the way I look or the way I feel and something has to change.

Geesh!  I wish I was the kind of person to give up for-real instead of a few days of "Oh woha is me!"

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