Photos....blah, blah.............

Dec 13, 2012

Hi there. Just woke up in the middle of the night, which seems to be a regular occurrence as of late. Decided that I would put up some recent photos so that I could really journal about what I look and feel like. I really don't have to describe the "feel" of the photo because I think the picture speaks for itself. I am so ashamed that I have let myself get this far!

I have never been this big. I jumped from a size 20 to a 24 jeans. I skipped right over the 22, what was the use. They would have been too small, so I got honest with myself a few months ago and bought 24's. Some days, those even feel like they are getting a bit on the tight side. I refuse to go up another size, although I refused to go from a 2x blouse to a 3x, and now I am in a 4x. How sad is that?

I used to say that once I got down to a size 12/14 back in 2005, I would not get back up past the 14. Slowly, over the years, a 16 came along (again), then 18. I told my self 18 was enough. Stayed there for two years. Got into a 20 back in 2011. Now, the last 1/2 of 2012 (july-dec), it has been the 24, and 3-4x. I have got to control what goes in my mouth and I cannot let that be controlled by the emotional thoughts of feeling better with food. This has got to STOP!!

I think I will get back into the nice warm bed and try to dream a pleasant dream (sugar free, of course! ) Until next time...........

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