14 Months and no Posts? what am I thinking?

Jul 19, 2011

Of course Ive had problems, issues, transfer addictions and detox. I am human, I am normal, I am you and me.
I am at the end of my 2 yrs and starting my 3rd year. One thing Ive found out, just when you think you think youve outsmarted,outdated,outfit the programn, there comes something else that you have to take care of. Did I t hink this was going to be a walk in the park? Cake walk at that? Subconsciously probably so. Cross addictions, and other medical issues have been some of the hardest things I have been and am dealing with. But to no avail. It felt pretty good walking into my surgeons office today for my past post2yr op appt to be made and jaws still drop. Yes I like to look like this. Has it been ultimate happiness now that I am skinny? No..Have I suffered from depression, anxiety, fears, etcetcetc. losing myself? who am I? and am I pretty at all?
Gosh..I must be human after all. I hope if nothing else , this post helps you realize, we still fall, we get up, we fall down, we get up and this IS A LIFETIME change. to take shortcuts, quit taking vitamins  and taking care of ourselves, is only an injustice to ourselves and we are the ones that will feel the results from it! Believe me! I have, i am and I continue to daily do better!  I am at 145lbs. Not alot of regrets. Wish I had more local postop resort 1 year and beyond? Real life now! and whats to come when I am older? anyway..all for now! Best to all!Cindy

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