ObesityHelp

Don't have anything else to call this one.  Life continues.  And I spend less time on here.  I know I need to spend more.  I definitely need the support.

I had my 3 month check up with my surgeon.  He said I was doing very well and to keep doing what I'm doing because obviously it is working.  Hmmm....I'm still not sure what I am doing.  I try to keep my calories under 1000 and my protein over 60.  I know I need more protein but very hard to do when I get protein only from food.  I really need to work on that.

I'm still going to the gym and I'm very pleased with my weight loss so far - 60 lbs is unbelievable to me.  The new normal is hard to get used to.  I don't miss food but I only eat for fuel now and that is so weird.  I do get hungry at times and then other days have to force myself to eat.  I have had to buy some new pants.  Still have plenty of tops in the closet for now.  My stack of clothes that I need to get rid of is sooo large. 

We are going to Orlando in a couple of weeks and I have been trying to remember what size I was the last time I was there.  I think I am smaller now but not sure.  I definitely won't worry about fitting on the coasters.  What a relief!

So all in all everything is the same from day to day.  Eat protein, go to the gym, and live life!

I have always loved going to the gym.  Yep, even though I didn't lose weight I have always loved it.  I always feel better afterward.  That doesn't mean that it isn't sooo hard to walk in there as an obese woman.  But I laced up my shoes and walked in again.  Signed up for a year.  And, I plan on using it.  I'm worth it!  As I was on the eliptical tears came to my eyes...I am doing this.  I am making myself important.  I can do this!!!  Talked to the gym owner afterwards and she has never worked with a bypass patient.  We are going to talk again tomorrow.  She suggested concentrating on muscle building because I will lose weight anyway.  Also increasing my protein.  Don't know how I will get any more in but I'm willing to try.  It was a great first day!!! 

Well, I made it.  At least that is how I feel.  I was told by many if I could make it to 6 weeks I would start to feel like my old self.  And I must admit I do feel mostly normal.  My energy is better but not like it used to be.  I'm an on the go person and I'm still not back to that.

I still have food anxiety.  In fact, I went to my dietitian visit at 6 weeks.  She said I was doing very well.  To keep my protein at 60 or more and calories at 1000.  I was doing that anyway so no problem there.  She did suggest that I start trying more foods.  Yep, once I'm comfortable with something I'm scared to try new things but I am working on that.  I had an apple yesterday for the first time.  I also have had trouble with my protein shakes.  They make ,me nauseous no matter which one I try.  So she said I could drop them and try Carnation Instant Breakfast twice a day.  

I've lost 38 lbs at ths point.  It isn't easy.  I really don't get hungry so I'm still eating on a schedule which just seems so weird.  BUt it is working so I keep doing it.   

This weekend was one for firsts.

Friday night was the first time I went out to eat with the family.  And I survived!!!  We went to Cracker Barrel.  Oh my, what to order...can't have my old favorites.  Decided on the hamburger steak, pinto beans, and mashed potatoes.  My daughter laughed on me because I chewed and chewed.  After I finished eating it didn't even look like I had touched my plate.  To go box please...

Saturday night was first family get together.  And I survived!!!  We had grilled burgers, baked beans, steamed veggies, and baked potatoes.  I ate at the table with everyone else with my very small portions.  And, of course, passed on the homemade banana pudding.  I did have some nausea after eating, not sure what did that.

Sunday was my first road trip.  I was very nervous about being gone for so long.  I packed my little cooler with waters, cheese sticks, and yogurt.  Not only would I be 3 hours from home but I was going to have to survive eating out twice.  And I survived!!!  My daughter was trying out for majorette at the University of North Alabama.  No way was I going to miss that.  She picked Texas Roadhouse for lunch.  I ordered the cheeseburger with no bun and ate a fourth of it.  I did fine with my snacks since I had planned ahead.  For dinner everyone wanted our favorite Italian restaurant - Ricatoni's.  It is wonderful but what in the world would I eat.  Certainly not my favorite - pepperoni bread.  My mother-in-law was ordering spaghetti and meatballs so I asked if I could just have some of hers.  I ate 1 meatball and 1/4 cup of pasta.  After leaving there my 12 year old asked if we could go to Krispy Kreme.  I can't say no so we went.  What torture!  I had nothing!  It was a great day; I didn't get sick.  Oh, and my daughter made the majorette line.  

Now for the food anxiety.  I find myself nervous about eating.  I haven't thrown up.  I have had one day where I broke out in sweats and felt nauseous.  I would have thought dumping but I had only eaten tuna salad.  But I am very careful about what I eat.  I find myself eating the same things again and again because I am afraid I will get sick if I eat a new food.  I know this wil pass but it is still frustrating.  

Well, my pants were looking pretty baggy in the rear and in my legs so I decided to shop in my closet.  I found four different sizes of course.  I think we all have that.  So I can go down a size in pants.  Yeah me!!!  My first time!!!  Trying on all these jeans, shorts, capris, and pants was actually exciting instead of the normal feeling of dread. I found several pair with tags still on.  I'm sure when I bought them I thought I will just lose 10 lbs and then they will fit.  I'm rambling.  But, I don't have to shop for pants right now.

The other thing that was painful was I had a really hard time putting the largest size that is now sagging on me in the yard sale stack.  I kept thinking what if I need them again.  The brain can be so cruel sometimes.  They are still in the yard sale stack this morning and that is where I plan for them to stay.