Random Thoughts of an Ordinary Woman 3/21/10

Mar 21, 2010

Part of my preparation for gastric bypass is that I am to blog about my feelings about life, the universe, and surgery. I have to say that my feelings about surgery change every day and some days I’m altogether excited about it; some days I see other people that look as though they may have had gastric bypass and are disproportionate (very large hips, boobs, calves, ankles, arms, etc but little everywhere else) and it makes me a little leery that I will look a tad freakish afterward. I guess my biggest fear is that I will end up some weird semblance of myself with my massive knockers and butt but with chicken legs and twigs for arms and a big head. I know somewhere deep inside that those are irrational fears and that it’s the health aspect that should be the most important but then there are fears there too. What if the miraculous surgery that is supposed to eliminate my diabetes doesn’t get rid of it? Is it really worth it? Today, I think so. So, all I need to do now is remember to log my dancing on the Wii, my food, my blood sugar levels, my water intake, etc, etc, etc and trust that everything’s going to be alright. I recently started taking an antidepressant. I used to think that taking an antidepressant for me meant that I was crazy… but I’ve got to tell you, it’s some good stuff. I was feeling a tad hopeless with so much to do and so little time to do it in and a surprising lack of hats (divorce, child custody, work, life, surgery, health, school, homework, family, battling public opinion of non-custodial mothers) but now I realize that I still have the same lack of hats but it’s okay! And I can sleep again without the effects of Ambien (I don’t get up and cook dinner for the coming weeks, talk to the walls, make phone calls, etc in my sleep). There are few things that gripe my ass more than people who claim to know something just to impress someone else. I mean honestly, if you don’t know what you’re doing then you need to be up front with whoever is asking you about it. If you lie and say that you know how to do something and then are left alone with people depending on you, you are not only setting yourself up to fail, you are most assuredly going to cause the others to fail as well. Fess up! Tell the truth! Everyone will be better for it in the long run even if it means that you have to humble yourself and learn from someone else – you do not know it all.

0 Comments