Logical Insanity

Jun 12, 2011

Who knew that being in starvation mode indicated that you might actually be starving?

I am ten and a half months out from RNY gastric bypass surgery. I was keeping my calories around 1,000, my fat under 45gm, carbs under 80, and protein between 130-140gms. I still had a few pounds I wanted to see gone. Nothing doing. In fact I'd repeatedly gain and lose the same 5 pounds, for 3 months. I figured, okay this must be where my body wants me to stop since it's not doing much other than typical fluctuations...
I've found myself snacking at night a lot, and it was frustrating me. I plan out my meals finding the perfect blanace to stay in the levels given to me by my NUT and then I'd snack uncontrollably at night.

On Wednesday I decided enough is enough. I started increasing my calories, intentionally, making sure that I was eating good calories and not just snacking on junk. It worked. I was actually hungry, my body wanted more food (food with good nutrition) and now I'm no longer eating compulsively. I can stop. Not only this but I've started losing weight again. I hit my goal, I've lost 100.2 pounds and I'm estatic.
I've still got people telling me to stop and just generally being negative in any event so I try to not discuss it with them. They don't seem to understand that I've still got redistribution and bounceback to get through. I'm not sickly. a couple pounds will not make me look emaciated, though it will make a difference in my final weight after bounce back.

So I'm eating more and weighing less, who knew? I still work out 5 days a week plus Zumba once a week and we try to get out to the pool after work. I'm very active, so yeah, I think the lightbulb has finally gone off, I need to eat more. Increasing calories has terrified me in the past, but I'm okay with it right now. I understand my body needs more fuel. I think that starving (even though I thought I was doing so well) was the reason I've been unable to focus at work. Now that I'm eating more calories I'm more focused. Of course part of that might be that I was finally talked to about the amount on time I spend on OH during my work hours (even though I get my work done in a timely manner). I think I just needed someone to call me on it to motivate me. He's been giving me more to do and I've been finishing old projects so all in all I feel like I'm in a better place with my work. And now my body is doing what it should, so yay!

Still being kinda klutzy and stupid on some things, though now I wonder if that happens when I need to eat, like a cross-warning as dizziness and low blood sugar used to be my barometer for when I needed to eat, now I just get clumsy, stupid (and maybe even cold is a part of it). Yesterday when we were getting dressed after swimming I lifted my leg to put on my shorts and cracked and scraped it on the cement table they have out there. I saw my knee cap move and I have a nasty scrape. I went to be early and took some tylenol and it's no longer paining me, but it scared the crap out of me.

Today I spent a lot of time baking "not cake", breakfast bars, tuna casserole, TSP mockafoni. I cleaned and rearranged and went to the pool for an hour (DS decided it was his turn to bleed and fell into the bug trap that another kid left open~face first of course so his nose isn't pretty but I'm pretty sure it isn't broken). We ate when we were hungry, go tthings done, watched the rain storm that cut our pool time short and generally had a good night. DH came home and we hace cauli-pizza and I told him about all this (including my starvation mode theory). He wondering what the heck was fuelling me if not calories? I don't have a lot of fat left to burn and if I was burnign fat you'd think you'd see it on the scale, so that's a curiousity. All in all he thinks I'm doing the right thing in increasing my calories though he looked skeptical at first (he's of the school "If you eat less and are more active you will lose weight" since it's always works for him) This life after WLS is a learning curve for both of us and we're kinda taking everything one day at a time and going from there.

I'm thinking 1300-1500 calories a day for me, fat and protein are just fine as mentioned above, carbs can probably increase to 90-100gms as long as I am getting 25g of fiber out of it. Fiber makes all the difference in the world! Finally starting to have daily or at least every other day bm's (yeah you knew you cared about that) which makes me feel more... normal :)
Well, that's all I've got for now. I have to go input my creations into the menu planning/meals part of my nutrition tracker before bed so i have an easier time of things over the next week. I may even post some of the recipes, who knows what tonight might bring... the child is alseep, saaay maybe I'll go have that wonderfully fun type of exercise that doesn't actually burn a lot of calories.... seriously, input that activity into the activity tracker, you'll be astounded....
sweet dreams, my friends!
picture of me taken yesterday when I realized I had met my 100 pounds lost goal

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