Karly Green
A month out, wow! (long)
Aug 30, 2010
I'm a month out today. How things have changed.I'm down a total of --drum roll please -- 55 pounds total, 26 of those pounds since surgery.
First, I want to say ... This fixes your stomach, but NOT YOUR MIND! I've been dealing with head hunger hardcore! It's been to the point where I don't want to go places because I know the sight and smell of food will be hard to deal with.
Everyone's different. I have a friend who had the surgery 2 years ago and she said she couldn't even think about eating for like 2 months. The thought of it make her feel like throwing up.
Me, I'm just the opposite. I want to EAT! Adding meat into my diet has helped a lot. I feel a tad bit more normal now. And it helps with the cravings. Except that every single time I eat I am so racked with nerves that I'll get sick that I can hardly enjoy my food. ... But, thank God I haven't had any problems YET.
I still don't feel 100% back to normal. Especially since I've been taking stool softeners. They make me so nauseous I can't stand it. But, if I don't take them I end up only poo'ing once every 5 days and it's so backed up and painful I literally sit on the toilet crying, and sweating, and praying for relief. So, I guess if I have to choose one or the other, I'll take the daily queasiness for a good bowel movement once every other day or so.
I get tired pretty easily still. And walking around for too long makes my back hurt, but it used to happen before surgery too. So I guess with more weight loss that should fix itself (I'm hoping).
I seem to have a small problem getting all my fluids and protein in. I get close ... But sometimes don't meet my 64 oz of water. And my Nutritionist said she wants me to have about 70g of protein a day (laughed to myself when she said that). I generally get about 50g. I drink 2 protein shakes a day in skim milk. So that gives me 28g of protein each. Plus whatever I get from food. But I don't eat much, so I doubt I get much of anything from food.
Water is boring. I use crystal light on occasions. But it tends to dry my mouth out if I'm sipping on it all day. So, I only use it like once a week. So by the end of the night I'm dreading sip sip sipping my water. But, I do. Because that's what I signed up for and I knew it would be that way.
I hope to start up my exercise this week again. My surgeon cleared me last week for light exercise. But I decided to wait till a month out to start going back to the YMCA. I need to start on my arms and inner thighs quick! They're already getting hangy. I do a lot of walking throughout the day, so I don't feel like I'm too sedentary.
My marriage is sorta going down hill.
I honestly don't think it has anything to do with me getting the surgery. My husband and I have been drifting apart for a while. He wants kids and dogs and I'm not sure I do. I want to move home to San Diego, and he DOES NOT. At this point we're sorta more like roommates than husband and wife. ... Being that I can't (read DON'T WANT TO) get pregnant we haven't had sex in like 3 months because he refuses to wear a condom, and I don't want to risk the possibility of a swimmer making it to my baby makers. So, I've just been cock blocking him for months. And that's taken it's toll.
It's no ones fault really that we're distant. But I know the lack of intimacy has a lot to do with it.
I mean, we're still nice to each other, still sleep in the same bed. Still watch TV together, and do things together. But it's different than it should be. We're more like buds.
We're going on vacation back home to San Diego to visit friends and family, and I guess when we get back we'll start discussing what we're going to do.
I do honestly love him, and I think we'll remain friends if we get divorced. But it's sorta heart breaking. You know how that is when you get married to someone and you think it'll last forever and you'll love that person the same way for the rest of your life? ... Yea, I thought that too. But you know the saying "relationships are hard work". I guess we could have, or should still put more hard work into our marriage. I guess we'll see. He's my best friend, and I don't want to lose him. But, if I can't give him what he has declared he NEEDS ... Than it's selfish of me to try and stay with him.
Anyways ... On a happier note:
I went to Lane Bryant the other day and tried on a pair of size 16 capris, and they buttoned!!! Granted, they were SO TIGHT! Too tight I couldn't wear them yet, and I think that kind of capris run big. But... they fit!! I'm not disillusional, I know I'm not a size 16 yet. Today I'm wearing a pair of slacks from Lane Bryant that are a size 20. But when I buttoned those size 16s it was the first time since surgery that I thought to myself, "Ok, this surgery might actually be worth it!"
I've started emptying out my closet already. None of my old pants fit me anymore. So I have a HUUUUGE (I work at Lane Bryant part time so when I say huge, I mean it. I like to shop) pile of clothes starting to collect. I have a few people say they'd like to dig through the pile, so hopefully someone will get good use out of my precious articles.
I'll post a 1 month picture later today.
Good luck to everyone out there losing!
4 Comments
About Me
Middletown, NJ
Location
21.8
BMI
Surgery
08/02/2010
Surgery Date
Aug 10, 2009
Member Since
Before & After
rollover to see after photo
272lbs
130lbs
