It's been awhile

Jul 25, 2010

since I've posted.  I've been lurking in the shadows, reading everyone else's lives, and not taking the time or devoting the energy to talk about mine.  Why, you may ask?   To but it bluntly, I am frustrated.  I am so incredibly freaking frustrated I could scream.  I can't seem to get ANYTHING to agree with my stomach.  EVERYTHING makes me feel nauseous.  In fact, I'm at the point that when I even think about eating food, it makes my stomach churn.  Nothing tastes good, either.  WTH???

 It seems as though I may have a window of maybe an hour or so each day that I can eat.  When is that hour?  Your guess is as good as mine.  Last night it was at 11pm.   This morning is was at 10am.   I am not getting in NEARLY enough protein.  My guess is, on a good day, I am getting MAYBE 10-15 grams of protein in.  And water?  Forget about it.  I feel like I constantly am sipping.  If I start to make progress, then my stomach gets all churny again and I get sick. 

Am I happy with the weight loss?  Of course I am!  It feels great to be able to stand or walk with my kids without having to sit down due to my back pain.  My knee really does feel better everyday.   I know that I wouldn't have lost this much weight without my RNY, but, at this point in time, I am having some SERIOUS buyers remorse.  The worst part is, I know that this is permanent.  I know that the weight is going to come off, and I am incredibly happy about that, but at the same time, I am freaking miserable right now!  I am nearly six weeks out, shouldn't this be getting better by now??? 

Normally, I am not one to complain.  I don't like to be sad, I like to be happy and funny and upbeat...and right now, I'm having a difficult time mustering those feelings...

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