Keeks911
My first this-sucks moment
Dec 01, 2014
Had my dietitian and physical therapist meetings last week, just before Thanksgiving. They went well. I really enjoyed the dietitian meeting. Guess I'm doing the Medifast Lean and Green and a gazillion protein drink diet. The protein drinks they recommended, from Costco, aren't that great. I got the chocolate ones. Maybe vanilla would be better. I did order a non flavored powder. I also picked up a ton of protein bars and grab one of those instead of the drinks. They have the same amount of calories. I'll have to ask to see if they do the same thing. I have such a hard time with the texture of the protein drinks that I make myself. The powdery grittiness of them. I have a hard time finishing them. The protein bars I don't mind at all.
So my first this-sucks moment. It took me a very long time to make the decision to pursue surgery. Sure, I had filled out the applications before, but this time was the first time I had actually mailed one in (well, two actually, different hospitals). I got the approval from my insurance and was told that I had 6 months. So, I thought that meant I had 6 months to lose my 35lbs and get the surgery. I was gungho! I thought, having started in November, by Feburary I could have my surgery. In the dietitian meeting, I found out that "6 months" actually meant a 6 month long doctor supervised weight loss program. What? I have to wait for the full 6 months?? Now, I have to wait until April. That sounds like SO LONG FROM NOW. It is, it's 5 long months from now. It's two full seasons! I literally had the wind knocked from my sails.
Now not only do I have to drastically change the food I eat, concentrate on moving more, but I have to work on the way I think about this. I have to change the thoughts of "what's the rush, I have lots of time to lose the weight", "what if I don't lose the weight in 6 months", "What if I do these changes and nothing changes!" (that is what basically got me to where I am now anyway, giving up when I don't see changes). Somehow I have to change that thinking to be more positive. My biggest hurdle is mental for me. I feel defeated already and I've only been at this a month. Gah. Maybe I should email my psychologist, isn't that what he's there for?
In the meantime, I'll just keep plugging along. I made baked chicken breast with sweet hot chili sauce and roasted butternut squash for dinner while my husband went out with friends. Oddly enough, I was totally ok with it and didn't miss the bar tacos that he had for dinner. My dinner was good, and it was really the first "lean and green" actual meal that I have made. My husband said, "that sounds healthy"... yeah. It is. Pintrest is my friend when it comes to recipes for those. I have a lot of inspiration from there.
I should do this more often. Writing this out is cathartic and a whole lot easier than writing in a journal.
