linabear2010
Going out with a Pop!
Oct 25, 2010
I am 5 days away from surgery. It's been a roller coaster of an emotional ride. I went from being excited, to becoming doubtful (am I doing the right thing, what if something happens, OMG!!!!) and now I'm back at "everything is going to be okay!". Now I am more determined than ever to continue my journey and follow through with surgery. This weekend was my last official weekend before the BIG DAY! I longed for this weekend. My last rendevouz with food. So I broke the norm of eating healthier and took my mom to Valley View Casino. You'd think I'd be going to gamble, play slots, but my sole intention was to experience my "Last Supper", my last real meal. And what better than an ALL YOU CAN EAT BUFFET! I mean if I was going to go out, I might as well go out with a bang! And that I did. I started off slow with Clam Chowder soup, yummy! I always opt for the creamy soups because they are soooo delicious. I then came the salad. Leafy greens, with bell peppers, onions, olives, shredded carrots, glazed walnuts, sunflower seeds, croutons, and lots and lots of Ranch dressing. I drowned that salad. I was somewhat already full, but I said, after Friday (surgery date) I won't be able to eat like this. So I picked up my empty plate and headed back to see what I can find. There was a huge spread from Mexican to Chinese, and everything in between. I circled the different stations to see where I was going to begin my feast. I was determined to get only one plate of food but I was gonna sure as hell pile that one plate up with everything I saw tempting. I saw this one station with all the fixings for Thanksgiving, figured the holiday were fast approaching and I might as well have my Thanksgiving early since I was going to "miss out" when the actual day came. I served me some mashed potatoes, sweet potatoe pie w/ raisins, stuffing, squash medley and turkey, can't forget the turkey w/ cranberry sauce. Next I got several pieces of coconut shrimp and lumpia. Thought I had a pretty good size plate, on my way back I saw the Italian section. I couldn't pass up the pastas. I managed to make room and get some lasagna and shrimp alredo linguini. I finally made it back to my table. And I began. I ate slow, trying so hard to savor each bite, feel and taste the different textures, the ingredients. I was in food heaven, my mom even caught me making noises "mmmmm!" to show the amount of pleasure and satisfaction it was giving me. When all was said and done. I was stuffed to the point of becoming lethargic. I couldn't move. I had been good this past month, not eating bread, sweets, ending my life-long addiction to Coca-cola...choosing more veggies, fruits, fat-free milk, etc. I didn't realize how much one month of healthy eating had done for me. As I sat there, I looked around and saw people eating plate after plate after plate. I wondered how my whole life was going to change in less than a week. Besides the fact that I felt sick from eating all that food, I felt saddened that I was now ending my life-long relationship with food. It was officially over. And so I waddled, my big fat butt out of the buffet and headed back to the car, back home. Needless to say I was sick that night. I made a promise to myself to never ever ever repeat this feast frenzy. When I woke up Sunday, I started back on track with my protein shakes and healthy eating. I am now focused and ready to move forward. As with any relationship, you want that last "kiss", and so I "kissed" goodbye my mental need for food satisfaction and broke up in peace. By the way, I didn't just go out with a bang, but a "pop" of my top button of my pants. Never again!
