linabear2010

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Hi OH Family,
It's been a while since my last post...
Just wanted to give a lil update...
Im 3.5 months out, down 67lbs and as the title says..LOVING LIFE!
Crazy how people all of a sudden treat you different cuz you have lost weight, have made new friends and lost some along the way sad to say. But Cest La Vie, right.
Karma is a beyatch...all those years of ex putting me down and saying I was ugly and fat and so on and so forth....now thsat I've lost weight, he's trying to all of a sudden get at me and he has a gf whos pregnant.  Go figure.   Biggest satisfaction I have is him knowing that I am the happiest now than I ever have been and I made it without him.  Cue the song "I will survive" by Gloria Gaynor hahaha! 
I am also finally going back to school to get my Bachelors in Criminal Justice...
Life is great over all, Im blessed with a new chance at life. And I owe it all to God.
Thank you Jesus!
Hope all of you are doing great.  Ill try and post some new pics of me soon.
Till next time,
Carolina

Hey OH Family....its been a while since my last post...just a quick note to say I'm doing well.  Nov. 29th was my 1 month anniversary...I'm officially down 28 lbs.  Not sure if that's good or bad....but I embrace any weightloss!  I am gettin used to my new stomach, trying new foods allowed and seeing what works what doesn't.  Thanksgiving wasn't as bad as I thought it would be...I had 1 spoonful of dark turkey meat, 1 of sweet potatoes made w/ Splenda...2 of mashed potatoes and 1 of stuffing (which i wasn't allowed to have, but what's Thanksgiving without stuffing!)....everything stayed down and I was amazed at how all that was enough to get me through the evening.  Im excited about everyone seeing me, 30lbs is I guess noticeable.  My family says my face has thinned out somewhat and I can feel it in my clothes...I was wearing a size 20-22...right before surgery......and now I'm in a 16-18...In fact I went dress shopping....I fit into a size 16 black cocktail dress...yes I said it DRESS!  I don't wear dresses, but this year I am...I will be posting pics of the company Christmas party...I am sooo happy right now...I can only imagine what is yet to come in 3, 6, 9 months....I do believe this is the best thing I've done for myself and I should have done it sooner.  But it's never to late to make things happen for yourself. 

Hey there OH Fam,
Finally out and about and doing my thing.  Made my way to the public library just so I could update my profile.  I am 2 weeks out and feeling good, not great, still a lil sore but the pain is tolerable.  The exciting news is I'm 20lbs down! Woot Woot!  On October 29 @ 9:30am, I went in for my VSG.  The half hour spent waiting to be wheeled in to the OR was a lil nerve wracking but I had a lil talk with God and he assured me everything was gonna be okay.  When the time came I said my "goodbyes" to my daughter and neice (they were the only ones who were allowed in the waiting area); and was wheeled in to the OR.  I really don't remember much, I was asked to scoot my big butt on over to the operating table and place my fingers on this honeycombed shaped sponge thing, then the "doctor" said "I'm just gonna give you a lil oxygen to help you breathe", turns out it was the anesthesiologist.  So I passed out and next thing you know I'm waking up in recovery.  As I opened my eyes, I saw 2 nurses sitting down at their station, I asked them "is it over?"...one came over to my bedside and said "yes, it's over", then I asked "am I okay?", she said yes, then I said "peace out!" and fell asleep.  Must have been for hours because the next time I awoke was in my room, with family coming in and out, all taking turns to see how I was doing.  It's all a blur....don't really remeber who was there.  That night, Dr. Taller came in to see how I was doing and he explained to me how while under there was a lil problem, apparently a part of my stomach would not cut/staple.  So he had to hand stitch about 2-3 cm of it himself.  Because of this he explained my stay at Scripps Mercy would be extended to about 5 days depending how I did.  So from Friday to Monday I was not allowed to have anything.  I was thirsty and those damn lemon swab thing they gave me to try and keep my lips moist made me nautious.  Speaking of nausea, the anesthesia and the morphine also made me nautious, so much I had the dry heeves and at one point I spit up/vomited blood.  I know, its a bit TMI but I figure people want to know the real deal so I'm gonna give it to them.  I was scared, but the nurse told me it was okay.  The pain was terrible the first night, getting in and out of bed, luggin around the IV was a real drag, lol, literally.  But I got up to walk, I walked a lot since the first day to the last.  The loop on the floor was 1/16 of a mile, by the 4th day I was doing 16 laps or 1 mile.  Nurses were all cheering me on and guess word got back to Dr. Taller cuz he came in on the last day and congratulated me.  I was released on Wed. Nov. 3 and have done everything I was told.  I am still trying to get all my protein/water in.  I'm also eating soft foods now since my post op visit with my doctor.  I eat mash potatoes, unsweetened oatmeal, string cheese, Keebler crackers, etc.  Trying one food at a time.  Some like cottage cheese, have not agreed with me, so I have stopped eating that for the time being.  Although my journey is just beginning, and the lil tough stuff I had to deal with is a bit over, I would say it was all worth it.  Looking forward to the next few months and wondering where I'll be on the losers bench down the road.  I love my VSG (so far).

I am 5 days away from surgery.  It's been a roller coaster of an emotional ride.  I went from being excited, to becoming doubtful (am I doing the right thing, what if something happens, OMG!!!!) and now I'm back at "everything is going to be okay!".  Now I am more determined than ever to continue my journey and follow through with surgery.  This weekend was my last official weekend before the BIG DAY!  I longed for this weekend.  My last rendevouz with food.  So I broke the norm of eating healthier and took my mom to Valley View Casino.  You'd think I'd be going to gamble, play slots, but my sole intention was to experience my "Last Supper", my last real meal.  And what better than an ALL YOU CAN EAT BUFFET!  I mean if I was going to go out, I might as well go out with a bang!  And that I did.  I started off slow with Clam Chowder soup, yummy!  I always opt for the creamy soups because they are soooo delicious.  I then came the salad.  Leafy greens, with bell peppers, onions, olives, shredded carrots, glazed walnuts, sunflower seeds, croutons, and lots and lots of Ranch dressing.  I drowned that salad.  I was somewhat already full, but I said, after Friday (surgery date) I won't be able to eat like this.  So I picked up my empty plate and headed back to see what I can find.  There was a huge spread from Mexican to Chinese, and everything in between.  I circled the different stations to see where I was going to begin my feast.  I was determined to get only one plate of food but I was gonna sure as hell pile that one plate up with everything I saw tempting.  I saw this one station with all the fixings for Thanksgiving, figured the holiday were fast approaching and I might as well have my Thanksgiving early since I was going to "miss out" when the actual day came.  I served me some mashed potatoes, sweet potatoe pie w/ raisins, stuffing, squash medley and turkey, can't forget the turkey w/ cranberry sauce.  Next I got several pieces of coconut shrimp and lumpia.  Thought I had a pretty good size plate, on my way back I saw the Italian section.  I couldn't pass up the pastas.  I managed to make room and get some lasagna and shrimp alredo linguini.  I finally made it back to my table.  And I began.  I ate slow, trying so hard to savor each bite, feel and taste the different textures, the ingredients.  I was in food heaven, my mom even caught me making noises "mmmmm!" to show the amount of pleasure and satisfaction it was giving me.  When all was said and done. I was stuffed to the point of becoming lethargic.  I couldn't move.  I had been good this past month, not eating bread, sweets, ending my life-long addiction to Coca-cola...choosing more veggies, fruits, fat-free milk, etc.  I didn't realize how much one month of healthy eating had done for me.  As I sat there, I looked around and saw people eating plate after plate after plate.  I wondered how my whole life was going to change in less than a week.  Besides the fact that I felt sick from eating all that food, I felt saddened that I was now ending my life-long relationship with food.  It was officially over.  And so I waddled, my big fat butt out of the buffet and headed back to the car, back home.  Needless to say I was sick that night. I made a promise to myself to never ever ever repeat this feast frenzy. When I woke up Sunday, I started back on track with my protein shakes and healthy eating.  I am now focused and ready to move forward.  As with any relationship, you want that last "kiss", and so I "kissed" goodbye my mental need for food satisfaction and broke up in peace.  By the way, I didn't just go out with a bang, but a "pop" of my top button of my pants.  Never again!

Just a quick post to let all of you know I finally got a date for surgery!  October 29, 2010.  They had given me earlier a date for October 25th, but for whatever reason they called me yesterday and confirmed my date for the friday after.  Either way it's coming up, just 23 days away!  I have my preop appt. the day before to receive further instructions.  Im sooooo excited!  I knew if I was patient it would come.  Thank you Jesus. 

As the title implies, I am sooooo excited that I'm literally shaking my legs, smiling from ear to ear and just cannot contain myself!  Beyond ecstatic!  Reason? Well,  I HAVE FINALLY BEEN APPROVED BY MY INSURANCE to proceed w/ surgery. 
Yesterday was an all day event....met with my Psych in the AM...surprisingly passed which means I'm not crazy (although some friends and family want a second opinion, lol)....met my surgeon and internist and both agreed I was ready and a great candidate for surgery.  I was approved for the surgery I wanted....VSG (the "sleeve")  So in a few I will be saying goodbye permanently to a major portion of my huge stretched out stomach! 
So, now I'm just waiting for a date!  Surgeon says it takes about 21 days to process, and was given strict orders NOT TO CALL AND BUG EM!  So I set my computer and phone alarms to the 22nd day....lol...so I can call and bug em.then!!!!  Dr. Taller (my surgeon from PBSMG, San Diego) said to expect surgery within first 2 weeks of October...That's only about a month and a few weeks away!  Skinny, healthier me - here I come!

Hi y'all!  I have been away for a bit....but I've come back with a bit of good news....finally meeting my surgeon next Tuesday, August 31st.  Which translates into, I'm getting closer to getting my surgery done.  I am soooo ready for this.  Lookin out my window  last night, seems like the stars are a little bit closer almost within reach.  And although I am a lil nervous, anxious...I trust God that he will help me get through this.  So cheers to me! And to all of you wherever you may be in your journey.

LOL, funny stuff....found out through having my abdominal ultrasound that I do have a gall bladder; sometimes I wonder if I have a brain....lmao..
Anyhow, I just finished up today with all my labs/chest xray/ekg/echocardio.....
Now waiting for case worker to review chart and send off to surgeon.
I have scheduled a required Bariatrics seminar, date July 14...better pay attention because the Surgery facility where I'm having my surgery done, is gonna give me a 50 question test on bariatric surgery and procedure and protocol.
Yikes...all these hoops to get what I want!  But I'm not complaining....
I'm excited to know I'm gettin operated soon!
Lots running through my mind!  Mostly positive, just can't help being a lil anxious, nervous about the whole thing.  But I know this is what I want and I'm gonna get it!
I took my girl shopping the other day, went to some store called Papaya clothing...cute cute stuff, wondered how it would be to shop at a regular woman's shop.  I can picture myself fitting into regular size clothing, dressing trendy and man, oh man!  lookin in the mirror and saying "Girl!  You look good!" and actually believeing it.  Watch out low self esteem, cuz here  comes the new Carolina and she's gonna be full speed ahead!  Nothing is stoppin me!  Not this time, god willing!

Just had my medical interview w/ Kaiser....and they have approved me to go forward. As explained to me I have to get my labs/testing done, so then the Kaiser Health Dept. case manager can then get approval for surgery.  The attending doctor told me that once I pass the medical interview, more than likely I'm approved, unless something comes back really wrong on my labs...but let's not think about that....the point is...I am one step closer to getting approved and getting my date! YABBA DABBA DOOO! 
I have opted for the VSG (the "sleeve") and will be getting the surgery done at Pacific Bariatrics in San Diego, CA. You just don't know how excited I am....and although I still have a process to go through, every little thing checked off the big checklist, is one step closer to what I want, and where I wanna be.
So speaking of labs....I will be going in by end of this week to get my bloodwork done...guess I have to wait for the cardiology to call me about my echocardiogram.  I have to get an echo because I took phen/fen at one point in my life, so they wanna see that my heart is healthy.  And they also ordered up an abdominal ultrasound if I have my gallbladder.  But dayummm, for the life of me I can't remember if I had it taken out.  I had an emergency apendectomy back in 2002 and I could have sworn someone telling me they were going to remove it as well.  I have to do a bit of research w/ the hospital so that should take about a week or so. 
Anyhow, just wanted to share where I am in regards to my surgery.....
THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR SUPPORT, however big or small it may be.
Till next time,
Always, Lina

I have finally finished my 12 weeks of required education/nutritional classes from Kaiser and have scheduled an appt. to meet my surgeon on June 23.  I am thrilled to finally start the process of getting surgery approval.  I know it won't be for a few months, but my hope is that it will happen by end of year.  I am patient though.  In between time, I'm trying still on my own, watching what I eat, exercising more, etc.

in my personal life, I have finally filed for divorce.  It's been a long 2 yrs since my separation, and I have come to terms, that you cannot change someone who doesn't want to change or think he has a problem.  So I'm at peace with myself, knowing I have done all I could do.  Looking forward to my new life.

So much is happening this month, besides my appt w/ surgeon, my girl is graduating from high school.  We didn't think she was going to make it, but she hustled and got in all her credits.  She has done a complete 180 (notice I didn't say 360....because she is still needing to mature a bit more) and I think she's finally gettin it.

This summer will be an exciting one, I'm moving away from Elsinore, THANK GOD!, away from the ex (too close for comfort) and into a better community.

Life seems to be sweet nowadays