Where is my mind? Random thoughts of my mind....

Sep 20, 2010

Wow I have a lot to say and not sure what is that I want to say.... makes sense huh?

Let me start by saying I do not regret WLS at all.  Here I am 7 months out and happier than I have been in YEARS.  I am now wearing size 6 and 8's.... my 10's and 12's are falling OFF! ( I was just hoping to wear 10's when I did this )  My doctors PA actually called me TINY! 

I have to really watch myself now around people because my hubby is starting to get a little possessive now....  He is always telling me how good I look but he is not liking the attention and looks I am getting from other guys... so I make sure I do NOT flirt with them... I am nice and thank them for opening the door or whatever but i am careful not to "flirt"  HOWEVER with that said.... I flirt without knowing it....  always have so I have been told...skinny or fat it is my nature.  I mean NOTHING by it in MY mind. 

My husband used to walk really fast ahead of me...  I always thought I just couldn't keep up.... but I was never out of breath or anything....  I have now come to realize that he was not wanting to be seen with me... don't know if he did this with a conscience behavior or not.... I hope not.  NOW he can't keep his hands off me in a store....always beside me touching me.... feels kinda strange at times but I love the attention......  he now wants me to go even to Home depot with him just to get a fence board or something like that......... 

My hubby actually made a comment the other day that ticked me off .......... the more I thought of it... 
he said... now that you are hot are you going to leave me????  WTF???  We have been married for 21 years and he has stood by me Through thick and thin...literally.  He has put up with more crap from me than 99% of men would of ever done.  I love this man.  There was a point early on in our marriage I wanted out and did many dumb things to try to make him leave..... so he would be the bad guy for leaving me.... I was so wrong!    I need to find a way to show him that he means the world to me now that I have lost weight I don't want to lose him too!

Sex......  OMG... he is like a freaken rabbit.... he can't keep his hands off me and wants it every night..... I tell him that the average couple do it once or twice a week...  When I "reject" him he pouts and says well FINE when you want it you have to ask for it ... I will not try again... well that is always short lived.  Or he pouts and and says I am not attracted to him anymore.....  I like I said above am very much in love with him but geez I personally don't need sex 24/7. 

clothes..... I LOVE THEM....  I love shopping now and I am addicted to goodwill stores. 

I am worried about regain..... and I think this mentally helps me stay on course.... that and I don't want to fail at this....

What I am doing for myself now????   i start classes next week at the local community college here to become a Dental assistant.....  something I can do anywhere my hubby and I should go to....  we both want out of this town and now that both of our kids are gone from the house we can do this as long as our house will sell in this market and he can transfer out of here! 
I am excited for the future and what it holds............  I am enjoying life.

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