I have been holding at 191 lbs for the past few days, and I know Aunt Flow is on her way to visit.....so, I am doing my best to maintain.  Once I get my fill, I will hopefully be on the losing side again.  I still have restriction, and I am thankful for that!  I will just be glad when my restriction gets back to what it was. 

With the stresses of my new job maybe it was a blessing in disguise to have an unfill.  LOL  I'll go with that.  ha ha ha  My DH has been out of town all week, but he should be rolling back in late tonight.  Yeah!  I do miss him when he's gone. 

My son told me last night that he has a new girlfriend.  I went to his myspace account to see who she is, and she is very pretty.  She sounds like a good match with him.  Good for him, he deserves to have a little romance. Just a little though!!  LOL

Linda is back from Hawaii!! Yeah!!  I've missed her!

I have an appointment for another fill on November 6th....just hoping not to do TOO much damage before then!  LOL   I had come to terms with myself nicely yesterday after Linda emailed and ALMOST convinced me that this loose band was all in my head.  ha ha ha  I seriously tried not to let it bother me too much.  HOWEVER, tonight when I got home after work I was STARVING    and I ate like a pig.  When my band was tighter I couldn't have eaten all that I did tonight.  Not all of my choices were healthy either.  UGH.  TOM should be coming soon, so I know that's one reason I am wanting to eat, but my actual hunger is back.  I sure didn't miss it before.  PLEASE LET MY FILL PUT ME BACK TO WHERE I WAS!  PLEASE! 

I have been pretty loose since the E/R took out that saline.    I would only be a minor inconvenience if I lived closer to my new band doc, but I don't.  He was giving a seminar in Albuquerque yesterday so I went to it in hopes of talking to him.  I was able to speak with him for a minute after he gave his presentation.  I explained that the E/R doc took too much saline out and that I desperately needed a fill.  He agreed to go ahead and do a fill for me when I can get in.  I have to call his office tomorrow and make an appointment.   Now I have to fork over the money in gas and of course take the time off of work which sucks....but I NEED THIS FILL BADLY!!!  I just want to go back to the way it was before I got stupid. 

I know that I have read some posts where once somone has an unfill it's very hard to get back to a good place.  Either the same amount of saline that they had before is too much or too little.  I desperately hope that doesn't happen to me.  I can't afford to keep going in for tweaks here and there.  Fill Centers doesn't have a doc here in Albuquerque anymore, so I am screwed until February.  Dr. Acosta is going to try and open up a clinic once a week to do fills here locally.  That will be WONDERFUL!!! 

So, basically, I am hoping and praying to get back down to El Paso in the next week or so for a fill, and I hope I will be good for a long while.  I am having to be a good girl right now and it's hard.  I can eat before noon again and I can eat some bread.  I haven't tested the loose restriction too much....other than last night.  A bottle of wine, and a million chips with my homemade salsa.  UGH!!  I was weighing in at 190 yesterday morning and this morning it was 194!!!!  OMG!!!  I can't slide that far backwards!!  I can't do that to myself.

Besides, I bought a Supergirl Halloween costume last night.......have to try and maintain so that I am not TOO embarassed to wear it!!  It doesn't look too bad right now.  They didn't have WonderWoman.    My spirits are a little down right now, but I learned a hard lesson. 

I was excited....I was going to meet my new surgeon for aftercare this past Thursday.  I left work at 3 on Wednesday and drove down to Las Cruces.  I had a very nice evening with my younger brother and his wife and stayed at their house.  I got up early and drove an hour to El Paso to see my doc. 

I had to go through everything all over again.  They treated me like a new patient, so I had to sit through the information session with the nurse and meet with the nutrionalist, etc.  When the nurse first saw me she weighed me and took my blood pressure.  She commented that I looked great (even though we had never met) and asked me how much weight I had lost.  She then laughed and said that the other people in the waiting room probably wondered why I was there.  I am sure they did!!   She then proceeded to tell me all of the things that I would be doing next at the office and left off with, "Then you will meet with Dr. Acosta, and you can have your band adjustment then."  Oh my....a band adjustment?  I've been pretty darn tight since my last one in May I was thinking to myself. Hmmmm a band adjustment?  Well, my weightloss has seemed a BIT slow.  Nah...I don't need one....or do I?   I had the next two hours to think about this.

It was almost like the cliche` where a little devil was sitting on side  and an angel on my other shoulder .  I let the devil talk me in to getting a fill.  Only a very small one shouldn't hurt anything, right? 

Well, I met with Dr. Acosta.  He came in scanned over my chart and asked me a few questions.  (He is a gorgeous man by the way)    Maybe that's why I lost my mind?  No, I can't blame it on him....I decided to go through with it before he came in the room.  LOL 

He even seemed a little hesitant to give me a fill.  He kept questioning to see if my restriction was loose.  He ended up giving me .25 CC's.  A tiny amount, right?  Well, after doing so I drank my water and it went down just fine.  After my fill in May the water was slow going down.  So, I felt confident that this amount of fill was going to be just fine.  And it was......for about the first 2 hours.  I left El Paso and went to an outlet mall just south of El Paso.  I had some egg drop soup at the food court.  Noticed after about 3/4 of a cup I was done.  Okay, no big deal.  I then walked around a bit, left after about an hour of window shopping and drove to Las Cruces.  I was going to treat myself to a Starbuck's coffe.  I got a light Pumpkin Spice  YUMMY!!!!!.  I also bought some bottled water and headed north, back to Albuquerque.  After quite a few miles I noticed that the coffee wasn't going down too well. Hmmmmm , oh well, there is some swelling after an adjustment, I am sure I will be just fine.   After quite a few more miles I started to feel very uncomfortable.  Water wasn't going down too well.  By the time I made it home I was pretty miserable.  I was going to give it a few days and pray the swelling would go down.

I didn't make it past the first 12 hours.  That night when I tried to go to sleep I found myself in a nightmare that was real.  Every time I started to drift off to sleep I would wake up choking on my own stomach acids.  Every five minutes or so.  So, when my DH came to bed I got up and went out to the couch.  No sense in keeping him up all night too.  My faithful dog, Hannah got up and came to sit with me on the couch.   I was in that night mare all night long.  I knew that I had entered in to that vicious circle.  The swelling MIGHT have subsided in a day or two, but because the swelling WAS so tight I was throwing up and making the swelling even worse.....so, basically it wasn't going to go down.  I knew then I would have to either drive all the way back to El Paso or visit an E/R and pray they could do an unfill.

I went to an E/R and was sent to Presbyterian downtown where they did an unfill under floro.  They had been in touch with Dr. Acosta and he told them to take out 1 CC.  UGH.  Now I have less saline than what I had before, but I can swallow and today I will find out how well I can eat.  I feel so much better now and NEVER EVER want to have that happen again!!! 

Bright side:  I am down to 188 pounds! ha ha ha ha I hope, if I am able to eat okay, I will try to stick to low calorie good foods.  Maybe this bit of an unfill is what I needed.   It was pretty ridiculous with how many foods I couldn't eat at all.   Always a silver lining, right?

 I was weighing in at 189.8 this morning!!!!!!!  I FINALLY broke in to the 180's!!!  YES!!!  I know my body by now.  I will be back up to the 190's back and forth for a little while, but mainly I will be in the 180's for a little while!  Then, it's on to the 170's!!  Wooo Hooo!!!!  I really doubt that I will hit my goal by my anniversary date, but I am sure I will be close. 

At work, I was pulled in to 3 different supervisor meetings yesterday...kind of funny since my position doesn't even start for another week.  ha ha ha This job is going to be a challenge with all of the projects I will have to do on top of supervising my peeps.  I just have to buck up and do it.  Looks like I will be earning a lot of overtime also.  That money is much needed, so I am not going to complain about that.  I was going to reapply at Wal-Mart for a second income, but when I can get $30 something an hour working OT, that's better than $9 or whatever Wal-Mart would pay me. ha ha ha ha

My friend Linda is in Hawaii right now marrying her sweetheart.  I am happy for her but miss her dearly.  She has become a close friend and I look forward to her emails every day.  It's amazing how close you can become to people online.....that IS how I met my DH by the way.  So, I know it's possible to build real long lasting relationships.  What in the world did we ever do without the internet?