Last night I was thinking and reflecting on all of the really sad and horrible things that have happened to me in my life. I thought about the sexual abuse all the way up to this past year, with the marriage break up, losing my house and recently my dogs.
As always, I was giving myself all of these excuses to indulge in comfort foods.
I was sad because I had bought some new clothes for my Vegas trip during my lunch break. (So glad Kohl's is nearby work!) I didn't have time to try stuff on, so I played it safe and got some 1x tops. I have not worn or purchased that size in 2 years. When I got home last night I tried everything on. Sadly, the 1x's fit...and I wasn't swimming in them!!!
So, I was feeling very sorry for myself. I was wallowing in self-pity. My mind was thinking of "poor, poor me....nothing seems to go right for me..." Then it hit me.
Nothing ever goes right for me? Really? Hmmmmm Well I suppose you are right, self. You WERE a victim of a lot of abuse. You did get blind-sided by the husband. You were forced to eat all of those chips over the weekend. Wait..... YOU WERE FORCED TO EAT CHIPS? You weren't? Really? So, if you weren't forced. then you CHOSE to eat those chips. RIght? You are CHOOSING to eat poorly and to keep regaining weight.
Now, self.....why on earth would you want to contribute to your own unhappiness?? Don't you know by now that chips do not make you happy long term? What makes you happy and confident is being good to yourself and looking good. Being healthy....conquering food addictions. THAT makes you feel good!!
I know that I am not perfect. I know that I am a carb addict. I know that I will slip up from time to time. What I really need to remember is that my weight is the ONE ISSUE that I DO have control of in my life. I HAVE THE POWER. I am not a victim. I choose to not be a victim. I choose happiness!!
uhhh....as soon as I get back from Vegas, that is!!