A "What the HECK am I doing?" moment

Feb 02, 2010

For some reason I have been on this, "Let me just see if I can diet ONE more time" kick. As if it's worked in the past. So the closer it gets to my appointment with Dr. Gallus I feel this urge to diet. I got all of my weight watchers stuff back out and I started counting points, water, fruits and veggie servings and fiber. I started to kick my exercise into gear. (Which isn't so bad) I'm weighing everyday (with no change) and finally I think, "What the Heck am I doing?". This is the very behavior I'm trying to avoid. This is the very pattern I'm trying to break. I don't know why I feel like I HAVE to lose weight before this appointment. I mean it's not like the man doesn't know I'm fat. I just seem to lose it every now and then. Then I'm ok for a few days and I lose it again. This has been a very hard decision for me to make and the longer I wait to see the doc. the more I question myself. That will all be over tomorrow. I have about a million questions to ask him and I'm scared to death at this point, but I have a feeling it's all going to be ok. Somehow, I just know that it is.

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