I made it, but would I do it over again?

Feb 07, 2011

This has been a long journey for me. I fell into that small percentage of people who had a complication. So one surgery turned into 3 for my surgeon. That last surgery was for pneumonia (chest tube), stomach virus, and exploration to see what the heck was going on. Then if that was not enough, a couple weeks after being released from the hospital, I'm back to the E.R. only to discover I developed clots in both lungs. Blood thinners to the rescue! 

I know we can't go back in time, but I found myself asking would I do it all over again? My answer is NO. Maybe, I'm not far out enough to feel the other way. I just know the past 7 weeks has been hell for me. Constant pain, difficulting breathing, difficulting walking,  unstable while I'm on my feet, the strain I put on my family, low to no energy, feeding tube, vomitting, eating is hard work for me now, etc. I know I'm sounding ungrateful, but this journey I wouldn't wish on my worse enemy.
I keep thinking I was in better health before I had surgery, what did I do to myself? Only time will tell how I'll feel in a couple months. I'm trying to keep a positive attitude about this thing, because I'm usually such an optimistic person, but this journey has took something out of me (no pun intended), I just hope to find that good thing again.

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