MzDiane
The Results Of My Psych Evaluation
Mar 02, 2010
Well I had my psych evaluation Saturday. It was an eye opener and kind of a bummer at the same time. The doc was full of information of how this surgery would effect my mental state. I promised my friend and myself that I would be nothing but honest with this doctor and answer all the questions on the test with nothing but pure truthfulness. I did and it has held up the progression of my surgery.Don't get me wrong. I was irritated at first (although I hid it well, as usual) and wanted to blast my friend for wanting me to be honest about myself. I had to find someone to blame, didn't I? Yeah well, anyone but myself...ha ha! She said, "would you really put yourself through this life changing procedure to end up like your niece (if you've read my blog..she is the one that I said had lost her mind) or worse. Would you risk putting yourself right back here all over again to go through the surgery again because you haven't dealt with the issues you have about yourself and your life?"
I stared at her blankly for what seemed like forever before I spoke. "No, I want to get rid of the biggest part of what has me here in your office today. In order to get rid of my shield (my weight) I have to deal with all these problems and for the first time in my 42 years, I am so ready to. I want to release it all and begin to heal internally so that way I can heal outwardly as well."
Wow, lots and lots of long ago memories buried beneath the mounds of flesh. Every time I shovel in the food I have been burying myself (shielding) away from problems in the past that has really been carried over into my adulthood. Time to open some old wounds and hopefully heal them so I can continue my journey to better health and a better me. Better health does not begin and/or end on just the physical aspect of the definition. No matter what you do to fix the outside you, it is the inside you that will burn you in the end if you do not fix "it".
So I topped out on some of the graphs she showed me after that huge 600 question test. That's not good. I have such low self esteem problems, coupled with others that I can't recall. So, I am now setting up appointments with psychologist to start counseling. I have gotten some books that I am going to list at the close of this blog. If people are not honest with that questionnaire that we take for that evaluation then we are setting ourselves up for failure in the future. Believe me, I am the Queen Of Avoidance & Compliance. It was not easy for me to be honest like I was that day. I guess somewhere I knew it would hold me up but in no way does that mean that I can't get the surgery. She told me that a large percentage of people having that surgery that has not dealt with their internal issues will either wind up transferring their addiction and/or wind up needing a revision because they reverted back to their shielding (over eating) again. I realized I would have been one of the ones shielding myself in the end, again. I don't want that anymore.
So for those that would like to look into some self help books (but by no means does it take the place of professionals) I have a couple that is dynamite. The first one is: Boundaries by Cloud & Townsend. It explains boundaries we all need in our life based on religious views backed by bible verses. Even if you are not a religious person this book is still worth the read because regardless we all need boundaries for ourselves and the people we interact with. The second is Life's Healing Choices..Freedom From Your Hurts, Hang-ups and Habits by John Baker (there is also a work book with this that I have on order from Boarder's). I've not started reading this one yet but I will give you a small excerpt from the back... {We've all been hurt by other people, we've hurt ourselves, and we've hurt others. And as a result, every single one of us ends up with some sort of hurt, hang-up, or habit. But the question we all face is, WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?}
I want each of you to promise yourself to be honest with yourself. You know if there are things in your present/past that somewhere haunts you. It doesn't matter if you've had the surgery or not, if there are things within yourself that hasn't been faced and then released, you are only cheating yourselves. It is only you that can start your healing process in order to set good boundaries in your life and bring forth the person we really are. Because no matter what, who we really are is someone that you truly want to know and it is someone that is deserving of love, respect and happiness. OK...enough of Dr.Diane....LOL! I hope each of you have a great day! (Hm....I wonder if I should post this on a forum...I'll have to think about that...lol)
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About Me
Apopka, FL
Location
26.6
BMI
Surgery
06/01/2010
Surgery Date
Oct 29, 2008
Member Since
