nevergonnalearn
a fresh start .... could end my old life?
Dec 18, 2012
So many times I have tried to get my weight down. I have hated myself for so long. After my injury to my knee and foot I honestly have no choice but to get surgery to help me lose this weight. The problem is my happiness about the surgery is making me realize how unhappy I have been in my life. I feel like i have always settled because putting myself out there just meant I was going to be let down. I am married with 3 kids. I stay at home because my husband is a cop and with the hours he works and court I just can not find a job to work around him. I have felt trapped for so long. Maybe this is my way out? Maybe this is me spreading my wings and stop putting me last on the list of people to take care of. I love my children but I have hopes and dreams of my own. If my husband had a normal career I would be able to go back to work just a the opposite shift. He wasn't a cop when we got together but I guess I should have known what i got myself into but that was before I had twins. Taking twin 2 year olds out is a nightmare. It actually makes my stress go up instead of making me feel better to be out of the house. I have read so much about this surgery and the divorce rate. Between him being a cop and this WLS I do not know how our marriage will go on. Yet I refuse to change my mind about this surgery. I am putting myself first and what I want. I may sound selfish but I have given my life to my children and my husband for over 9 years now. So I guess my fresh start might end up ending what i have now but in the long run if it is meant to be it will be.
