School started back up for me a couple of weeks ago and also so did all my pre op appointments . I've spoken with my doctor and he sees no problem as to why I could not have surgery, that is until he did and EKG and seen that the results were slightly abnormal (more than likely due to my heart murmur). but never the less he wants me to  have an echo cardiogram done before he gives me clearance. Today I had my consultation with the exercise coach and the nutritionist (all went well), this coming Tuesday I have to go for my echo and then that Thursday is my first nutrition class (then one in May and one in June). However, I am not sure what else I have to go through in this process.

I know that my mind has been arguing with itself lately. One minute my mind says get the surgery and use that "tool" to help you to get as healthy as you can be and the next minute my old negative self comes in a says why do that surgery when you will only fail. I believe this is because of all of the negative experiences I have had in my lifetime, believe me you don't want me to go there lol.

So far  on this journey it seems that my husband, my sister, and my friend are the only people around me that supports me 100%, but that is ok. I am sure there will always be people who dont understand what I'm doing and why I'm doing it and I am also sure that some people will come around after they understand it and me a bit more.

I feel that I am excited ( even though with all of the stress and stuff I've been dealing with I gained 7lbs ), scared and a bit overwhelmed especially with everything that is going on in my life. But hey it can only get better from here on out right?