3 months after hernia and panni operation

Jul 25, 2011

Well,  it is amazing how normal I feel.  I can wear tight fitting clothes again!  I don't feel right in the loose tops that I was wearing.  This is a shame as they were not cheap, they were bought at Shepherds.  I am lucky that my sister, who saw me shrinking, felt threatened and lost 30 lbs herself and gave me A LOT of clothes that fit wonderfully.  I am into size 16 jeans and 14 tops.  Still want to lose more weight but I find it so hard lately.  Got to get myself on track.  My sister has been told by her trainer that he wants her to lose another 30 lbs, so the race is on!  She always wore petits on top and I was always in 36Ds.  With my weight loss I need a boob job badly.  That is what you get for always being a big size and then losing weight.  I am spending a lot on bras.
Saw Dr Dent and he is pleased with me and stated that he doesn't think I should lose more weight.  NOT!  I need to get down to my high school weight when I see him in October!!  Got to get on the ball here.  Another incentive.
While at his clinic I saw people who were like me and my heart went out to them.  Especially the young girls, who have so much to live for.  When you feel good about yourself, positive things start happening in your life. 
I joined POF (plenty of fish) which is an on-line dating site.  Met a man, but men in their 60's are hard to change.  I adore this man but do not like the thoughtlessness.  I told him this was a problem and he informed me to quit dreaming.  Real relationships are like what we had.  No, they are not.  I want someone who thinks me special and visa versa. 

It is nice to get back on the dating scene though.  It is nice to hear that men think me beautiful.  Never thought I was.  I was always fat.  But looking at old pictures, I was "fat" in the eyes of that era.  That is when a 5'4" person was supposed to weigh 114 lbs!  My mother, who freaked when her 5'3" frame went over 135 lbs put me on diets when I was 10 years old.  At 10 I was 5'1" and weighed 135 lbs. Yikes.  fat girl! 

Sigh.  I became such a recluse, hiding away from people.  It is nice to get back to the living.

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