My Story

May 27, 2010

I went through childhood as a fat child, although to be quite frank I did not really realise it because I was loved and cherished. I was however subject to the usual taunts and teasing by other children, although I was not overly large as a child. I went through adolescence being slightly bigger than the average teenage and eventually found myself as fat adult. My weight spiralled out of control after I completed university. Pin it down to a slower metabolism, less activity, but my working years have been the worst and in particular the last three years.   Somewhere along the line I must have learnt that I could use food to anaesthetize myself against emotional distress, when I was angry, sad, low, dejected, I simply ate. I left home at the age of 19 to study in a foreign country and was working by the age of 26 or so and could afford to buy myself the necessary junk I needed to get away from emotional distress.   I am generally a happy person, quite driven and generally successful, at least career wise, where I have failed is with regard to my health and taking charge of the general status of my health. I injured my knee two years ago and tore a ligament, an injury which took me six months to recover from. This was the first time the implications of my weight dawned upon me, a non-healing knee injury. It was at this time that I discovered that I might have osteoarthritis, and that Omega 369 could be used to mitigate the pain – which eventually went away with continuous use of the vitamins. Nonetheless I once again tried to lose weight as I had done before by joining Weight Watchers, as well as pursuing the Fit for Life programme and not combining proteins with carbohydrates at mealtimes.   I reached the peak of my struggles in October 2009 and that was about the time I had an interesting encounter. I bumped into someone I had met in my childhood and who also suffered the consequences of being an overweight child and subsequently obese adult. However, my meeting with her was marked with a difference – she was a normal sized person! I was totally shocked, knowing as other overweight and obese persons how difficult it is to lose weight and what she told me shed light onto another whole different world that I had no idea existed or had heard of in a very remote fashion, and thought it the preserve of the very rich, or Hollywood types. I had no idea that ordinary people like me course have recourse to something akin to a miracle. WLS for people like me is akin to a miracle because it is a solution to our weight related issues, one we never thought existed.   She told me she had had lap band surgery and that got me on the road reading about it. She also referred me to her provider in the Netherlands who were the conduit point for WLS in Belgium. She also told me that this was a lifesaving medical intervention and was usually covered by insurance. This conversation marked a turning point in my life – she also gave me the OH website.   I started off in denial, thinking maybe this was too drastic and immediately embarked on a course of non-prescription weight loss meds purchased over the internet. I did loose a few kilograms, before I had to stop dead in my tracks when I started experiencing heart palpitations and strange pains in my nerves… sometimes when I was sleeping I could hear my heart fast and loudly enough to wake the dead, I had no option but to stop after a month’s prescription – the rest of the two months supply is lying around my house, somewhere. I believed I had found a non-surgical solution, but I had to abandon it. This was in the months of November and December 2009.   I then revisited the terrain of WLS. I called my insurance company – Van Breda and asked them whether they covered WLS. At the time I had in mind – Lap Band Surgery. I then requested my primary care doctor for a reference letter for the Insurance Company, and had some blood work done. He however, wanted me to have the WLS in the Netherlands, although I preferred going to Belgium.   I commenced the process in January 2010, with visits to the medical care provider, a video conference with the surgeon who was to perform the operation, obtaining a letter of medical necessity for my health insurer, and finally at the end of April 2010 – I had an approval from my insurer. In the end I opted for RNY because of my BMI – which is 62 (Very High).   I now have a surgery date of 23 June 2010, and I cannot believe that I will soon be on the ‘other side’ and losing weight.   I am having the usual reactions – what will I do with my clothes… the one thing is I have always been trendy, regardless of my size, and I am lamenting the probable loss of my whole wardrobe. Frivolous I know, but I just cannot help it, the thought of giving away my whole professional wardrobe, all my suits etc away is daunting to say the least. Well, at least now shopping will not be a do or die affair as I will be able to buy clothes in the normal ranges of clothing. Being a shopaholic, I wonder how that will be like!   So 23 June 2010, here I come. I will be travelling to Bruges, Belgium for the WLS, which is apparently quite a beautiful town. It is 2 – 3 hours away by train. I am not looking forward to the WLS – given the implications, but it is the beginning of the rest of my life as a normal sized person.    All along I thought I was grappling with weight related issues alone and felt very isolated until I stumbled across this community, something that I think was an act of God. With WLS – I feel that you playing field will be level, no more sweating it out wondering what future employers will think of me, whether at this rate I will be able to have a child, always wondering whether I will fit into certain chairs in restaurants, avoiding lifts – for fear of encountering uncouth people, and the usual day to day fears that being obese exposes me to. I have been privileged to fly around quite often, but I have never flown without a seat belt extender…. I normally have to ask sotto voice for a seat belt extender with a straight face, ignoring those around me… not to mention the fears and hope that I will have a seat with an empty seat beside me so that I do not have to spill into someone else’s. The drama of trying to eat a meal whilst balancing the meal tray in my lap… cushioned by a tray (oh yes, one has to be inventive when things just do not fit). Trying to move around without having my butt in someone’s face.    Last year I broke two chairs on two different occasions and in two different countries and cities. One at a car display, I was tired from walking with DH and plopped myself into a wooden chair, you can imagine my embarrassment (and I am sure his, though well disguised) when the chair splintered into pieces. Luckily I was not hurt and for that at least I was thankful.   On the second occasion I was attending a conference with my friends when to my mortification, in a conference hall with almost two thousand people, my camping chair folded… yes, it was metal and it simply gave up the fight and folded in an irremediable fashion… luckily everyone was very nice about it but still… not one of the things you would like to experience I can tell you!   I cannot believe that after June/July 2010 – these experiences will be behind me. I am worried about the taking of vitamins and some of the complications because though I am obese I am healthy, but my family has a history of diabetes which I have heard is a decidedly nasty disease. I am 34 and so I have not yet begun to feel the vagaries of being my present size, with the exception of knee pains, and back pains… as well as generally feeling heavy, and pains in my heels I have been fine otherwise, but there is no point of tempting fate.   23 June 2010 – The beginning of the rest of my life!

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