6 Weeks

Mar 10, 2010

Hi Everyone,
 
I am glad that some of you look forward to the updates it makes me feel really good! I want to also say that with all this encouragement, it gets me through this! I really appreciate the support!

This past week has been really good. I have finally got a handle on my vomiting. I am still getting sick but its due to eating too fast or too much. My stomach is 4 oz. It is in the shape of a banana. So when I eat, I have to use a measuring cup to measure my food by volume and not weight. 

I went to Kohl's today and tried on some clothes just so I can try to figure out what the heck correct size I am in. I put on size 8 pants, I almost dropped my jaw, because the last time I had a size 6 on was when Adam was 7 months old, he is 23.5 years old lol... needless to say it has been a long time! It is hard for me to believe I can possibly be in a 6. I keep thinking the pants are mis-marked or whatever. 

This has been quite emotional to think I have lost 5 sizes in 6 weeks. I have on ly lost 2 lbs in the last two weeks but that's a normal progression of events. They say you will hit a stall and its just your body catching up with your weight loss. I still am in a Medium shirt. 

I usually can eat about 1-2 oz at a time. So when I eat I really want it to count, I want to make sure that I get something I like and not something that can just fill me up. 

I have told people that I am not an emotional eater but as I am learning about myself I do think I have some of that. It doesn't really surprise me since my siblings and I grew up with a food addict and we were taught to EAT EAT EAT for EVERYTHING. I remember my mom calling people at 8 o'clock to go out for "coffee". my mom NEVER drank coffee it was always when we got there we ordered a dinner basically, a second dinner, cause we had dinner at home with my dad. 

But what I discovered this past week is that I have been eating just to eat. Night is my worst time. Everyone is home and snacking. When I see someone eating, I feel like I need a snack too, its almost uncontrollable. I bought some raisins hoping to curb that but I still want chips and stuff.

I find that I am still eating too fast and that means I will get sick. IF I drink too fast, I will get sick. When we normally eat we eat dinner in a matter of 10-15 min... for me that's torture... If I eat that fast. 

Last night we had Taco's and I had the ground meat, lettuce, and tomatoes. I didn't measure it and should have. I had 90% of it left on my plate when I got full and kept looking at my plate saying man, I am wasting food. When you are putting only about a cup TOTAL of food on your plate, and can't finish, your not wasting. but when I see food on my plate that I haven't eaten, I hear the old tapes playing "finish all your food, clean your plate, people in China are starving... etc, etc, etc... I have to somehow break my thinking that leaving food on my plate is wasting and I feel like I HAVE to eat it. Making kids eat all their food even when their not hungry encourages obesity! and that's a fact.

So... Things that I a working on to get healthy is...

1. Eat till full and stop and remove my plate from my reach.
2. Don't eat just to eat... decide if I am really hungry ... 90% of the time I am not.
 

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