pearl768
Owning my truths
Jan 19, 2011
I know I haven't been around in a bit. Yes I've been avoiding my page for a reason. I have to finally deal with the truth....surgery did not cure my mental sickness.Having the surgery was just a quick solution to a small issue.
I Kendra am a over eater, and having surgery did not cure me of my demons.
Looking at my before pics. you would say I have come a long way and some would say having surgery worked. But it didn't cure me of wanting and loving to eat. I think about food all the time. Yet I can't eat half of anything, how sad.
I started this journey at 414 pounds went down to 265. WOW! Just looking at that number makes me sad. But now after 2yrs I am 292 as of last week. And I can only blame myself! I have returned to most of my old eating habits, well not the same size portions, but the same foods. (when dumping doesn't stop me) I haven't exercise consistently in over a year. Protein shakes and vitamins are none existent. I haven't seen my surgeon in a year as well.
How did I let this happen??? How did I get so comfortable that I felt I am done; far from it!
Now with all this being said...Finally!
I haven't given up hope I know that with a change in diet, exercise and getting back on my protein and vitamins. I will kick my weight lost back in gear and meet my goal of 180Pd. But will that really cure my mental sickness to food. NOT!. I now realize that just like a addict on drugs I am an addict to food and I need help. I can't do this by myself. It's time to get into group therapy for over eaters. I have to change my way of thinking, I now see that this is an internal demons. Getting the physical stuff out of the way is easy, dealing with my views on food is the hard part. I hoard food although I know I can't eat it. Why do I do this is my question, because in the end it all goes to waste.
So yes I may reach my goal one day of 180Pd but will I ever look at food differently.
Eat to live not live to eat!!???
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About Me
MIAMI, FL
Location
45.8
BMI
Surgery
12/30/2008
Surgery Date
May 17, 2007
Member Since
